Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the righ
tStraight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the righ
tStraight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: (I’d better think of something fast, or Meow may go off and start killing people. He’s only here because I didn’t report to him the best way to rid the earth of its inhabitants so that he could commandeer the resources it has to power The Planet of the Talking Cats when it runs out of energy in one million (or billion) cat naps. I must do something to save the lives of the people and animals I’ve met while on this planet. Even though Meow promised that all fourteen of my kittens and I are safe, I’ve grown quite fond of my human friend and coshost for this blog, nurse, author and kennel worker d.c. scot,
his highly-educated wife, Eudora,
their three sons,
my human mom and dad on this planet (who are on yet another cruise)
and my husband, the heavywieght cat fighting champion of the world in five different categories, Tucker Tucker Two a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T, Because Triple T Was Already Taken. I have an idea…)
Meow Z. Tongue, you are the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy. Isn’t it true that you’ve come to this planet to devise a way to do away with all its inhabitants so that you can commandeer Earth’s resources to power your home planet when it runs out of power within the next one million cat naps?! Isn’t it true that you only care about the inhabitants of your home galaxy and your home planet?! Isn’t it true that you're a sinister being who really only cares about himself, and no one else?! Isn’t it true that you're a despicable individual?! May I remind you, sir, that you are under oath!!
Meow: (Am I really under oath, Cal.E.?)
C.: (Well, no. But you are on my podcast, and all three of my listeners want to know the truth!)
Meow: THE TRUTH?! YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?! YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! The truth is that I’m an orphan kitty that got dropkicked through the uprights of life when my human mom and dad went to be with that great human in the sky. Unless I’m adopted within the next three hours, I’ll be put into a shelter and probably forgotten about. Mature, overweight kitties usually don’t get adopted, so I’ll be euthenized and then reunited with my human mom and dad in the great beyond. Woe is me (heavy sigh).
(ring).
C.: (That’s strange. I thought that phone was a stage prop. It had never rung before). Cal.E.’s Korner, this is your host speaking…yes, I suppose that he is up for adoption, but… hold one, please. Yes ma’am, I’m glad that you were listening. However, he’s already spoken (ring) hold one, please. Yes, if you get here first, I suppose that you’ll be able to adopt him. (Well, that’s all three listeners, so I suppose we’re done with this segment for today. I’d better wrap it up).
“Thank you for listening. This has been Calculating Einstein Kat, with another interesting edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.” (ring). (????).