Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the rightStraight through the heart of them righteous uprightsDropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source:Â Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: d.c., why don’t you want to say the name that you gave to the manuscript that’s the fourth one in The Magruder Mysteries Series?Â
d.: Because, Cal.E., much like the cover, the name of the book can make or break it. If a book has a generic-looking cover and a boring name, then it may not sell.
C.: What about THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER? That was a good book with a bland cover.
d.: And it was written in the last century, when everyone and his brother couldn’t write a self-published book. Don’t get me wrong, there are some good self-published books that may not fit into a certain category and, therefore, would never get published by a traditional publisher.
C.: Like what?
d.: THE MARTIAN comes immediately to mind.
C.: Okay, but I’d say that book is pretty much science fiction, right?
d.: Yes, but that implies a certain way of thinking that I’m not sure that book followed to the letter.Â
C.: I see. Well, do you think you have a boring name, one that you may change?
d.: I don’t. I think the name is attention-catching. However, as I’ve learned, attention-catching titles have often already been used, and I don’t want to be accused of plagariarizing anyone else.
C.: So, what book titles did you write that didn’t sell?
d.: Well, the advice that is often given is to write about what you know. That’s what I did. I wrote FORREST GREEN. That manuscript was about a horticulturist who was really good at his job, so he made everything turn green. It wasn’t picked up by a publisher, so I wrote about something else I know well. The title of that manuscript was KNOCKED UP (In the Head). That was a really good manuscript.
C.: Why didn’t that one sell?
d.: I forgot where I put the manuscript. What were we talking about?
C.: I see. What else did you write, d.c.?
d.: I wrote WILD HURSTS. It was about cars that carried dead bodies and went nuts. That didn’t sell, so I wrote SUPERFAN. It was about an avid Houston Oiler fan. That went belly-up when the franchise moved to Nashville and changed their name to the Tennessee Titans. That led me to write FORGET THE TITANS BECAUSE THEY ABANDONED HOUSTON AND BUD ADAMS WAS A JERK, AND SUPERFAN IS DEPRESSED. No publisher would touch that one, though.
C.: Why didn’t you just have Superfan move to Tennessee. That way, he could keep following his favorite team in person.
d.: Now you tell me! Where were you twenty years ago? I then wrote HATMAN. It was a manuscript about a man who wore many hats.
C.: So, he knew how to do a lot of things?
d.: No, he just owned a lot of hats. That didn’t sell, for some reason. Then, I wrote…
C.: I’d love to hear more, d.c., but we’re (thankfully) out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.