Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
d.: This is a great idea for a book that Cal.E. had. I’m going to be rich beyond my wildest dreams….hey, wait one moment. This is beginning to sound really familiar. Hmm. I remember now. This isn’t new material at all. I need to talk to Cal.E. (ring).
C.: Hello?
d.: Cal.E., when you fell after swallowing the tobacco juice that you were going to spit in Meow Z. Tongue’s eyes and then call your cousin to dropkick him through the goalpaosts of life, did you, by chance, hit your head really hard on something?
C.: d.c., if I did, how would I remember? You’ve hit your head many times. You know that I wouldn’t be able to remember anything if I had hit my head.
d.: I don’t recall ever hitting my head on anything…
C.: My point exactly. You’ve hit your head so many times that you can’t remember ever hitting it at all. So, if I did hit my head this one time, how would I remember hitting my head at all?
d.: ??!!
C.: If I hit my head, I wouldn’t remember hitting my head, nor would I remember why or how I hit my head, or on what. My memory would be wiped out, and I wouldn’t be able to remember hitting my head, or anything else.
d.: Actually, Cal.E., after someone hits his or her head, they often will remember things that had happened in the distant and not too distant past. But, they might also remember something that they read. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference between reality and what someone read after hitting his or her head.
C.: And your point is?
d.: Well, before you hit your head, I had asked you to proofread the fourth book in my The Magruder Mysteries series for me, since you weren’t working regularly at The Kennel anymore. You said that you were bored and had plenty of time on your hands, so you would proofread it for me. The plot to that manuscript sounded a lot like what you were telling me happened to you.
C.: So, you wrote a book about a giant cat becoming the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy by cheating in all the elections that he’d been involved in?
d.: Not exactly. I think that your brain just filled in the details to suit what you knew about yourself and the situation that you found yourself in. Sometimes our brains want to believe something different from the truth if the truth is too hard to accept. After taking a knock on the head, the brain is trying to reconcile what happened as opposed to what it already knows. If it can’t reconcile what it thinks is true rationally, it will sometimes fill in the details itself. The brain is a powerful organ that can rewrite history if it cannot make sense of what has happened to it.
C.: Hmm. Maybe you’re right. I’m beginning to have a vague recollection of that manuscript that you asked me to proofread. Oh, yes, now I remember. The fourth installment of the Magruder Mysteries series is called….
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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