Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source:Â Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: Okay, Tucker, we accomplished our purpose. We went to the future and corrected the situation. AI is not going to control the human race in the future. No one will be dropkicked through the goalposts of life by the AI police for having bad thoughts,  but I think that we might have come back to an earlier date than we wanted to. I’m not sure exactly what date that is, though.
Tux: Why do you say that, Cal.E.?
C.: Because, when I tried to text d.c. to ask him to officiate our recommitment ceremony, he texted me back that he would do it when the football game he was watching is over.
Tux.: Okay, d.c. loves football, so what’s so strange about that?
C.: It’s the game he’s watching: the inaugural Astro Bowl.
Tux.: It’s bowl season, and d.c. loves to watch college football.
C.: Yes, but this game took place on December the first through the fourth.
Tux.: I don’t understand.
C.: This game took four days to play, and it ended in a scoreless tie.
Tux.: ??!!
C.: It was the inaugural Astro Bowl. It was put on to try to earn money to refurbish the Astrodome. The regents wanted to make enough money to fix up the Astrodome enough so that it could compete for high school football playoff and championship games. It pitted two teams from Greater Houston.
Tux.: Which two teams, Cal.E.?
C.: USC and UCLA.
Tux.: Aren’t both those schools in Los Angeles?
C.: Not the University of Southern California and the University of California at Los Angeles. This game pitted the University of Southern Conroe against the University of Clear Lake-Angleton.
Tux.: Is Conroe considered to be in Greater Houston?
C.: IDK, but the University of Southern Conroe is in the north part of the Woodlands.
Tux.: And Angleton is about as far south as is considered to be Greater Houston, as The Woodlands is the extreme northern tip of Greater Houston, depending on whom one is asking. Since these two schools are about as far apart as two schools can be and still be considered to be in Greater Houston, I assume that they met in the middle, at Rice Stadium?
C.: Yes, that’s where the game was played. It was the inaugural game for both programs. UCLA broke away from the University of Houston, and USC was formerly part of Sam Houston State University.
Tux.: Well, that may explain the scoreless tie, but why did the game take four days to play?
C.: Because of the terrible officiating.
Tux.: Were the officials not accustomed to calling football games?
C.: No, they were, flag football games. So, every time someone was hit or tackled, he was kicked out of the game. It got so bad that each team had to ask people in the stands to play.
Tux.: Why was the officiating so bad?
C.: Because the regents wanted all the money to go to refurbishing the Astrodome, so they asked for volunteers to officiate and keep score. The scorekeeper couldn’t operate the clock or the scoreboard, so no one knew how much time was left or what the score was. The game was finally declared to be over when each team’s entire roster, as well as all their fans were ejected from the game by the officials.
Tux.: There’s a simple solution to find out what day it is, Cal.E. Just ask d.c. what quarter it is.
C.: Okay, that’s a good idea. I’ll do that as soon as…
Tux.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Â