The chef prepares a special menu
uh, in the vanilla,
oh, in the vanilla sky.
In the vanilla, ah,
in the vanilla, uh,
in the vanilla sky.
Mmmm in the Vanilla SkyWriter/s: PAUL MCCARTNEY
Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind
C.: Tucker, why are you so distracted?
Tux.: Well, your cousin, ELAC is staying with us at Wayne Manor for the ceremony, and I walked in on her…
C.: Oh, if she was grooming herself, don’t worry. ELAC has fourteen kittens just like I do. She’s accustomed to a tom cat seeing her grooming herself.
Tux.: That’s not what she was doing.
C.: Then, what was she doing?
Tux.: Well, I thought that she was watching a movie. I remember the movie “Vanilla Sky” starring Tom Cruise. That’s what it looked like she was watching, because it was very futuristic.
C.: What makes you think that’s not what she was watching in your theater room at Wayne Manor?
Tux.: Because Tom Cruise wasn’t in this movie.
C.: Who was?
Tux.: You were, and so was I, along with ELAC, d.c., and many other recognizable people and animals.
C.: Okay, I’ll come clean, since we are married. ELAC and I have been to the future. We’ve seen what will happen, so ELAC is working on a way to keep it from happening, now that she’s sober and not eating catnip anymore; thanks to Cat Nippers Anonymous. That’s why she’s been sleeping in your theater room at Wayne Manor. I know we both told you that she was a movie buff and that’s why she wanted to sleep in that room. Truth to tell, though, my thirty-third cousin twice removed who’s from a different planet from mine hasn’t slept much. She’s too disturbed by what she’s seen.
Tux.: I don’t blame her, after what I saw.
C.: What did you see, Tucker?
Tux.: I saw AI take over the planet. With their technology, they were able to catch kidnappers and stop wars.
C.: What’s so bad about that?
Tux.: Well, it sounds good, but it’s not as good as it sounds. To stop the kidnapper, they arrested a seven-year-old boy and kept him incarcerated for the rest of his life.
C.: Why did they do that?
Tux.: Because he was going to kidnap seven people when he grew up, and then kill them.
C.: So, seven people’s lives were saved. That’s a good thing, isn’t it?
Tux.: Let me answer that with a question of my own. “Do you believe that we were meant to be together, and that no other cats would make either of us happy?”
C.: You’re asking me if I believe in predestination. The answer is “no,” and I get your point. Just because that seven-year-old boy had the capability to do something heinous doesn’t mean that he would have.
Tux.: Correct. I mean, I started out being a hit cat for Tom the Tabby. I was in and out of The Kennel so many times that the warden retired my number. But I used my time in The Kennel wisely. I furthered my education, and now I have a doctorate in playing and hiding. I’m also the holder of five championship heavyweight cat fighting belts, and a meowionnaire. To top it off, I’m married to the most interesting and prettiest cat on this planet.
Now, if AI were in charge while I was working for Tom the Tabby, I would have been left in The Kennel and never let out.
C.: You don’t know that.
Tux.: Judging from what ELAC was watching, I do. A man was put in prison for obstruction of justice because he didn’t tell the AI police the identity of four boys who vandalized his house.
C.: I think you’re leaving something important out of this story, T.
Tux.: Yes. The man worked out a deal with the four boys. He said that, if they would pressure wash off the graffiti they painted on his house, he wouldn’t press charges.
C.: That sounds fair.
Tux.: The problem was that the man had called the police before he made the deal with the neighborhood boys. When the police got to his house, he refused to give the boys’ names.
C.: Isn’t that his right?
Tux: Apparently not. The boys would grow up to be bank robbers, according to the AI police, so they wanted to arrest them. However, when the future was presented, it turned out that the boys, now young men, were going to rob a bank, but saw a lady being mugged on the sidewalk when they were going to pull the job. They didn’t like someone taking advantage of a weaker person, so they stopped the mugging and then took the lady to the hospital and stayed with her all night. That meant that the window of opportunity for the bank robbery passed, so the boys changed their minds about robbing the bank. You see Cal.E., our future isn’t predestined. It depends on the choices we make.
C.: Well said, Tucker. Maybe we should postpone our vow renewal ceremony until my cousin figures this out. We can help her if we do that.
Tux.: We can do that if….
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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