You don't bring me flowers
You don't sing me love songs
You hardly talk to me anymore
When I come through the door at the end of the day
I remember when
You couldn't wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me
Now after lovin' me late at night
When it's good for you, babe
And you're feeling alright
Well, you just roll over and turn out the light
And you don't bring me flowers anymore
It used to be so natural (used to be)
Talk about forever
But used-to-bes don't count anymore
They just lay on the floor 'til we sweep them away
And baby, I remember
All the things you taught me
I learned how to laugh
And I learned how to cry
Well, I learned how to love
And I learned how to lie
So you'd think I could learn how to tell you goodbye
(So you'd think I could learn how to tell you goodbye)
You don't bring me flowers anymore
Well, you'd think I could learn how to tell you goodbye
Well, you don't say you need me
And you don't sing me love songs
You don't bring me flowers anymore
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Alan Bergman / Marilyn Bergman / Neil Diamond
You Don’t Bring Me Flowers lyrics © Spirit Music Group, Universal Music Publishing Group
C.: Hey, d.c., good news. I’ve got you booked on the Southeast Texas CONVERSE radio station tour for your farewell book tour. You’ll be on radio stations all over Southeast Texas.
d.: What towns did you book, Cal.E.?
C.: It’s the big-time, d.c. I booked radio stations in Cut-N-Shoot, Orange, Navasota, Victoria, Egypt, Rosharon, Shenandoah and East Benard for your farewell radio book tour.
d.: That sounds good, Cal.E., but I don’t know if I’ll be able to make that tour.
C.: Why not?
d.: Because my favorite Botany instructor at my alma mater has died, and the school wants me to bring the eulogy. I'm actually driving to my alma mater right now. I need a sounding board, though, if you don’t mind listening. I can recite it to you while I drive, since I've memorized what I've written so far.
C.: I seem to have an opening in my schedule, all of a sudden, so go ahead.
d.: This is what I have written so far.
“Dr. Violet Purple was born in a small, Northeast Mississippi town to her parents, T. Color and Penelope Purple. She didn’t let her humble roots keep her from growing, though. She earned her undergraduate degree in horticulture from this fine institution. While enrolled in graduate school here, Violet Purple met the man she thought would be her lifelong mate, Pete Flowers.
“Pete was a former basketball all-star who had to retire from the court because of a serious injury. However, Pete ‘The Pistil’ Flowers still holds the all-time scoring record for this university’s basketball program. He could really shoot!
“Ms. Purple loved her husband, but wanted to keep the legacy of her now deceased parents alive. Since she was their only child, she hyphenated her last name when she married “The Pistil.” After her marriage, Violet Purple-Flowers decided to earn her Ph.D. in botony. Unfortunately during her time in the doctoral program, her husband was stung by a bee. Ironically, he was deathly allergic to bees. Without his spouse within shouting distance and no neighbors in close proximity, The Pistil died of anaphylactic shock.
“After earning her doctorate in botony, Dr. Violet Purple-Flowers embarked on a career as a professor of botony at this fine institution. It was during that time that she met her second husband, Dr. Rajesh Patel. The two felt a commonality, because Dr. Patel had recently lost his wife, Rose, when the slight woman was blown away in a tornado.
“When I was an agricultural student at this fine institution, I was fortunate enough to have Dr. Violet Purple-Flowers-Patel as a botonay instructor. Of course, having spent my entire life in the Deep South of the United States, I didn’t know the correct pronunciation of my instructor’s South Asian last name. We don’t usually put the emphasis on the last syllable of a name where I grew up. Still, Botany professor Dr. Violet Purple-Flowers-Patel sure knew her stuff.”
That’s all I have for now, Cal.E. What do you think?
C.: I’d love to comment on your eulogy and then expound on it, d.c., but we’re out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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