Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
looked like Lawrence Taylor dropkicked Joe Theismann through the uprights of life.
d.: Yes. What’s really strange is that, almost forty years later, on the same date, Alex Smith suffered the same injury on the same field on the same date. It was like an episode of “The Twilight Zone.” It's a show from the 1970s.
C.: The what now?
d.: The Twilight Zone.” I’ll show you some episodes of that show.
C.: Oh, no thank you. If it’s anything like what we watched yesterday, I don’t want to see that.
d.: Well, okay. I need to do a video for my class, anyway, and I need your help.
C.: I’ll be glad to help you with your math class, d.c.
d.: It’s not that class. I’m taking two classes, but the other class is easier. However, I must make a video about healthy eating. I’ll go set up the camera. I’ve already written the script, so you can look over that while I set up the equipment.
C.: Okay.
Later
d.c. scot productions, in cooperation with Cal.E.’s Korner presents “Sling Bean.” Starring d.c. scot as Sling Bean. Featuring Cal.E. Kat as the new sheriff in town, and T. Puppy Katt as Whirlwind.
Written and directed by d.c. scot.
d.: Some people call the green beans mhmm. Other people call them snap beans mhmm. I call them string beans mhmm.
This here town eats so unhealthfully that they’s all gonna die soon, if’n someone don’t do nothing about it. It’s my duty as the dude known as “Sling Bean” to correct that situation. Unfortunately, there’s a new sheriff in town, and she’s intent on the town eatin’ bad. That’s cause’n she’s under the influence of “Big Pharma.” An’ they cut her in for a portion of their profits. Havin’ unhealthy people makes a mighty good profit for them, cause’s folks need all that fancy medicine that Big Pharma makes to make ‘em feel better. Eatin’ healthfully, though, will do the same thing for a fraction of the cost.
Howdy sheriff, how’s it goin’?
C.: You know how it’s going, Sling Bean. I need ta make my profits, and you’re interferin’ with me doin’ that. So, I might as well plug ya now, and put ya out o’ your misery.
d.: That won’t do no good, Sheriff. I gots my dog, “Whirlwind” goin’ around a digg’n holes. Then, a remote- controlled drone is a droppin’ green bean seeds inta the holes. Before long, this here town will be as healthy as ma horse.
C.: I’ll find that dirty dog and end her, right after I end you. That way, you can’t operate the drone and she can’t dig no more.
d.: You can’t catch whirlwind, sheriff, she’s too fast. She’s strong as a mule (and stubborn as one, too). And I ain’t operatin’ ma drone, it’s set on automatic pilot. That drone can’t be stopped. My drone is made out o’ bullet proof Kevlar. You can’t shoot it down with your shootin’ iron, so you’d best save your bullets.
C.: Curses, foiled again.
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