C.: Whew! Teaching another cat a new language is a lot of work! Tucker wanted me to teach him to speak English, since he only knows how to read and speak Catonese. He thinks I’ll be a good teacher, since I learned the language after arriving here from The Planet of the Talking Cats. I haven’t even found a place to begin yet!
When I asked him why he wanted to learn a new language, he didn’t want to answer at first. I’m his ‘sweetie boo boo,’ as he calls me, so I didn’t know why he wanted to learn English, since we communicate in the universal language of cats: Catonese. He finally relented and told me the truth. Tucker says that once he learns the language, he can find a human puppet and run for office. He’ll need to start at the local level and work his way up.
The first office that Tucker wants to run for is mayor of Kathmandu. He thinks this town is where cats control humans, and make them do as they’re told. I don’t know why he wants to move to another continent to do this because humans usually do as told by their cat masters. Tucker says that we can have our honeymoon in Nepal. While we’re there, he can convince one of the locals to run for mayor, if s/he’s been a resident for six months or more. I didn’t know that this was going to be a working honeymoon, but Tucker says that a hench cat's job is never done. He has a lot of money, so I suppose he knows what he’s talking about.
I don’t need to run for office. As a female cat, I’m referred to as a “queen.” That’s what I was on my home planet. However, there’s a nice section of Houston where a lot of queens reside, and none of them look like female cats to me! Maybe they would vote for Tucker, though, if they knew he was a tomcat. So, if he ran for mayor of Houston, he would have a lot of votes!
Anyway, Tucker wants to work his way up to be Chairman of the Bored Meow Z. Tongue, the supreme ruler of the universe. He would need to change his name first, though. I asked him why he would want to do that, and he said he could run things better if he had unilateral control of all things. That’s his political party’s way of doing things. He’s a Democat. I told him that the planet I came from had a similar philosophy, based on Plato’s model, and I didn’t like it. Hmm, it seems that d.c. said something about that model in one of his books. Let’s see… oh yes, here it is. It’s in “The Magruder Mysteries’ A Full Pardon: A Graying of the Law.” The name of the chapter is “The Conspiracy Theory.”
The ancient Greek philosopher Plato believed that he had created the ultimate theory for rulership of a sovereign nation. His concept was deemed “democratic socialism.” This concept had as its creed “the greatest amount of good for the greatest amount of people.” This concept is still held in high regard by many people today. Most communist nations declare that this is the principle on which communism was founded.
What those who don’t bother to explore this concept fully are unaware of is that Plato, in his model, didn’t believe that the common, ordinary man or woman was capable of making the correct choice when it came to national and local leadership. Plato, and others like him, believed that the only people with enough education and common sense to decide leadership for their country were the “Proletariat.” These were the ruling class of people in the ancient Greek world.
Because the Proletariat didn’t regard the common people in the general population to be desirable, these were often severely inbred people who were subject to mental illnesses. Some, however, would be considered geniuses in the modern world, because they were the fortunate ones who received a double dose of healthy genes. It may have been these few exceptions that would keep Plato’s theory alive for thousands of years. There are still those who believe that, even in the modern free world, the “Ruling Class” decides who is and who is not suitable to hold office. Jay Magruder is about to become privy to some information that will lead him to believe that those people may not be entirely inaccurate in their thinking.
C.: Well, that’s all the free time I have for today. I must get back to trying to find a way to teach Tucker to speak English. He wants to start his political career as soon as the Cat rodeo, the Cat Skills Games and our wedding are over with. This won’t be easy, so wish me luck!
Comments