Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book? It took me years to write, will you take a look? It's based on a novel by a man named Lear And I need a job So I wanna be a paperback writer Paperback writer
It's a dirty story of a dirty man And his clinging wife doesn't understand His son is working for the Daily Mail It's a steady job But he wants to be a paperback writer Paperback writer
Paperback writer (paperback writer)
It's a thousand pages, give or take a few I'll be writing more in a week or two I could make it longer if you like the style I can change it 'round And I wanna be a paperback writer Paperback writer
If you really like it you can have the rights It could make a million for you overnight If you must return it you can send it here But I need a break And I wanna be a paperback writer Paperback writer
Paperback writer (paperback writer) Paperback writer (paperback writer) Paperback writer (paperback writer) Paperback writer (paperback writer) Paperback writer (paperback writer)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney
Paperback Writer lyrics © Iricom US Ltd, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
C.: Well, d.c. is busy with school, work, and sending two different manuscripts to different agents and publishers. Consequently, I’m on my own writing the blog for the foreseeable future. However, I don’t just want to be a working class stiff and blogger, I want to be like d.c. and be a paperback writer! So, I’ll start on “The Best Cat Toy Ever!” The manuscript I’ve been working on for the last three years. So far, I’ve got a title, so there’s that. I do seem to have writer’s block, though, so I’ll relieve some stress now. “When, then, wind, work, wild, long, live, less. No.. that didn’t help. Just saying four letter words doesn’t relieve my stress, for some reason. d.c. says that, sometimes he’ll just start typing and the words will come, so I’ll just start moving my paws and see what happens.
“It was the greatest cat toy every made.” Wow, that really works! I have a whole sentence, and… d.c. what are you doing here? I thought you were too busy to help me today.
d.: I always have time for a cat that calls me sixteen times screaming “Help me, help me!” Now, what do you need help with?
C.: I want to be a paperback writer, like you are. But, I seem to be stuck. I have a working title and the first sentence written, but you disturbed my process.
d.: Okay, Cal.E., continue what you’re doing. Maybe I can learn something from you, if I watch closely.
C.: Okay, here goes. “The cat toy was made in China, like most cat toys. The end. There, that represents three years’ worth of work. Thanks for the advice, d.c.
d.: How long is your manuscript, Cal.E.?
C.: It has a title, two sentences, and an ending.
d.: Hmm, I don’t think anyone will buy a book that is one page long if Earnest Hemngeay didn't write itn. I’ll use my process and help you out.
C.: I did use your process. I just started typing, after I said some four-letter words, and finished my manuscript.
d.: No, Cal.E., you misunderstood. I said that, after I researched the subject for several hours, or days, or weeks sometimes, and read what knowledgeable experts said on the subject, I would just start typing my interpretation of what I’d learned. Then, I go through and look for grammatical errors in my manuscript. Then, the third time, I start from scratch and totally rewrite the whole manuscript.
C.: And then you send it to an editor?
d.: No. Then, I look for any errors, statistical or grammatical, and start the whole process over. When I get to a point that I’m satisfied with the ‘script, I send it to my editor.
C.: And she finishes it for you?
d.: No. She tears it apart, piece by piece, and makes suggestions. I then decide if I like her suggestions. Admittedly, some of her suggestions have led me to rewrite whole chapters, or decide to leave them out of a manuscript entirely.
C.: How many lightyears does your process involve, d.c.?
d.: Well, since I don’t really write one manuscript at a time, it’s hard to say. Basically, I’m writing a long story. I may pull one chapter out of one manuscript and put it in another one. To your point, though, the one that’s being reviewed now only took me two years to complete! I’m really proud of that.
C.: How many words did it involve?
d.: Around 90 K. I think that’s the ‘sweet spot’ for thrillers and mysteries, so the second and third manuscripts need to be truncated. I’m trying to decide what could go into the last manuscript.
C.: It took me three years to come up with a title, an ending, and two sentences. Can you please help me?
d.: Sure! Fist, I’ll go to the pet store and look at cat toys. I’ll buy the ones I think my cats will like best Then, I’ll bring them home and observe Shon and Big Boy playing with them. I’ll see which one is their favorite. Then, I’ll look online and see if other cats agree with the ones I have. I’ll use the statistics and my observations to begin an outline. After that, I’ll be ready to get started. It shouldn’t take me over six months, tops, to get my information back to you. This will be fun!
C.: Where are you going, d.c.?
d.: If I’m going to get this information to you by next Spring, I must get started!
C.: (heavy sigh). Well, I guess that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner, with Yours Truly and, apparently, no one else for a while.
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