Ralph: A one, a two, a one two three four
Love me tender
Love me sweet
Never let me go
You have made my life complete
And I love you so
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For my darlin' I love you
And I always will
Love me tender
Love me long
Take me to your heart
For it's there that I belong
And we'll never part
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For my darlin' I love you
And I always will
Love me tender
Love me dear
Tell me you are mine
I'll be yours through all the years
Till the end of time
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For my darlin' I love you
And I always will
And I always will
And I always will
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Elvis Presley / Vera Matson
Love Me Tender lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
C.: Awe, Tucker. I forgive you. Now, I just want you to do one thing for me, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname).
Tux.: What’s that, my pet?
C.: Win!
Tux: Win what?!
C.: Your next cat fight with The World Association of Cat fighting and Other stuff. You’re the five-time heavyweight WACO Cat Fighting champion of the world!
Tux: But, love of my life, cat that I cannot, will not, shall not live without, I’ve retired from cat fighting, remember?
C.: Yes, but I saw how much you were enjoying yourself when you fought Tom the Tabby. Besides, a lot of former fighters got back in the ring after their supposed retirement and were successful. Just remember Big George Foreman and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. They both got back in the ring after they retired, and were very successful.
Tux.: But, The Rock is an actor now, and Big George is a minister. So, you want me to be an actor who also preaches, while resuming my career as a cat fighter?
C.: Now you're talking (that should keep him out of my fur for a while). I’ve taken the liberty of scheduling your next WACO cat fight. It is with a tomato can, but, at least, you’ll be back in the ring, doing what you enjoy (and his training and fighting will keep him out of my fur for a while).
Tux: (Ring) d.c., thanks for singing backup on the song that your alter ego wrote and performed. Ralph playing his guitar while I sang was also helpful, but it may have worked too well.
d.: Well, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter formerly known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname), what did you expect?
Tux.: Not this! Cal.E. wants me to get back in the ring and cat fight again. I retired when I earned enough money to go back to obedience school. I have a Playing and Hiding Doctorate now from the College of the Cat Skills. I’m also already a meowionnaire, so I don’t want to go back into the ring and cat fight. What do you do when you and Eudora have a disagreement about what direction your employment should take on?
d.: Well, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname), we sit down and talk. We give our opinions to each other. Then, whoever has the best argument wins the discussion.
Tux: Who usually has the best argument?
d.: Well, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname), do you remember the conversation we had shortly after you and Cal.E. married?
Tux: The one when you said that, according to my wife, I’ll always be wrong?
d.: Yes, that’s the one…where are you going Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname)?
Tux: To train. I’ve got five cat fighting belts to defend. Oh, and one more thing. I’m no longer Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname). Since “Triple T” was taken, I’ll now be known simply as “T.”
d. Okay, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) now known simply as “T” because “Triple T" was already taken. That’s a really long nickname!
T.: ???!!!
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