Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am Make a piece in your master game plan Free from the earthly temptation below I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door All the departed, dear loved ones of mine And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: I wonder what d.c. is doing? Tucker is out looking for lunch for the two of us. I would think that a swanky place like the Cat Paradise would have enough mice for all its guests, but he had to go hunt down our lunch and dinner. I’m bored, so I’ll call d.c.
d.: (ring) Just one moment, Cal.E. Now, lock, unlock, lock again, then unlock, touch my heels together and then do the hokey pokey and turn myself around…
C.: What are you doing, d.c.?
d.: I’m getting ready to pay my bills. You know how bad my memory is, so Eudora bought me a lock box with a combination on it. That way, don’t need to remember where I put the key to the lock box, just the combination. I must start again, though, since you interrupted me. Now, let’s see, click my heels three times, no, that’s not right. I must lock and unlock the box three times, recite the whole preamble to the constitution, do the hokey pokey and turn myself around…
C.: d.c, why do you put your bills in a lock box?
d.: Well, obviously, so they won’t get stolen.
C.: If someone stole your bills and paid them for you, wouldn’t that be a good thing?
d.: What’s your point, Cal.E.? I must get these bills paid today, so I’m in kind of a hurry. I don’t want the electric company to cut off my air conditioning. I’d feel like I’d been drop kicked through the goal posts of life if they did that. I would need to find a sauna to cool off in if my air conditioning gets cut off. It’s cooler in a sauna than it is in Southeast Texas in August!
C.: Why did you wait until the last second to pay them, then?
d.: I didn’t. I got my electricity bill yesterday. I have a month to pay it. But, I’m on vacation this week, so I wanted to go ahead and pay it while I had time to do it (and to open this stupid lock box).
C.: Oh, so you’re working at The Kennel next week?
d.: No, I’m on vacation next week as well. Since I don’t have any surgeries scheduled (yet) this year, I just took a stacation for a week after I visited my parents.
C.: So, you have another week to figure out how to open your lock box and pay your bills, right?
d.: I suppose I do, but it may take a week for me to remember the combination to this lock box.
C.: Didn’t you write it down somewhere? With your memory, that would have been a good idea.
d.: I did write down the combination when Eudora brought the lock box home. I just can’t remember where I put the sheet of paper with the combination on it. And, if someone else found it, s/he could open my lock box…
C.: And pay all your bills for you?
d.: Well, that would be nice, but I doubt it will happen. It’s more likely that they’ll find one minute piece of information and steal my identity. It has happened to me, and many others before. That’s why I’m so cautious with bills.
C.: I see. Well, I’ve never had to pay bills before, so I wouldn’t know about something like that. Mom and Dad always took care of buying my food and paying the mortgage so that I would have a place to live. And now, Tucker is going to be doing the same. It’s nice to be a free, independent queen cat!
d.: ???!!!
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