That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs
Don't mis-serve your own needs
Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter
With a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry
With the Furies breathing down your neck
Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
I feel fine (I feel fine)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
The other night I drifted nice continental drift divide
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Michael Stipe / Michael E. Mills / Peter Lawrence Buck / William Thomas Berry
It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) lyrics © Universal Music
Meow: What is it, Cal.E.? I can’t hear anything with these earplugs stuck in my ears. Let me remove them, so that we can have a conversation. I put these earplugs in my ears 1,000 lightyears from this planet to make sure that I didn’t hear that awful noise that I heard the last time I came to this cat forsaken planet. That noise also hurt my A.I., Al’s ears so badly that he refused to come back to this planet. However, my galaxy is almost devoid of all of its resources. There will be none left after my great, great, great, great grand kitten's ninth life is over (probably… at least there’s a two percent chance of that happening, hypothetically.)
Okay, now, as a former resident of the Planet of the Talking Cats, you’re still under my jurisdiction, and I need you to do something for me.
C.: I’d love to help you out, Meow, but I’m busy planning my wedding. It’s taking place tomorrow….
M.: That’s actually what I want to talk to you about. I want you to move your wedding to a larger venue.
C.: My fiancé, Tucker Tucker Two, has already booked the Columbus KC Hall for tomorrow. I don’t think that we can change the venue so quickly.
M.: You can, and you will. Tucker is the five-time heavyweight cat fighting champion of the world, and he’s a mewoionnaire from his prize purses, as well as shaking down other cats for protection money so that neither he, nor Tom the Tabby will harm them.
C.: Okay, you are the supreme ruler of the cat galaxy, so, where do you want me to move my wedding to?
M.: The most useless, despised place on the face of the earth: Dodger Stadium.
C.: While I do agree with your assessment of the facility, I must question your motive for wanting to move my wedding there.
M.: Because I want a venue large enough to invite all the cats in the world to your wedding. Then, while the whole planet’s cats are in Dodger Stadium, blam! I’ll bomb it to smithereens.
When all the intelligent life on this planet dies, I’ll come in and take over the world! I picked Dodger Stadium because I’ll have no use for it when I take control of the earth. The Dodgers are the most disgusting crybabies on this planet. With them disoriented and wandering around because they no longer have a place to call home, I’ll do away with them first!
C.: Could you just leave the rest of humankind, after deleting the world of the scum of the earth?
M.: NO!! As far as I’m concerned, all life forms on earth are scum! As long as I can avoid hearing that awful racket again, I’ll have control of this planet and all of its natural resources…at least the ones that are left after I bomb it to smithereens.
C.: Well, you're in luck when it comes to not hearing that awful racket, because each time you heard it, my band was playing, so none of us heard it. And… my band is playing at my reception. It’s their wedding present to me! You’ll be safe from that awful noise that way, because I’ll ask the band to play as loudly as possible, and to do it all night!
M.: Er…yes, that will be wonderful, Cal.E. Have your band play as loudly as possible all night. It will keep Earth residents hearing the sound of their world being destroyed. Thanks for the idea, Cal.E.
C.: Hoo boy. I’ve really done it this time. The only way for me to avoid this world from being destroyed is to stand Tucker up at the altar and hide, never to be seen again. Well, Tucker deserves an explanation, at least. so, I’ll write him a “Dear Tucker” letter.
My dearest Tucker Tucker Two…no, that’s too formal. I’ll try again.
My main squeeze, Triple T…no, that’s too informal. Hmm, here goes.
Tucker,
I cannot explain to you why I must leave you, but I must. You must trust that this is the best thing for both of us, and the world as a whole. Please don’t hate me because I left you at the altar. It was a situation that couldn’t be avoided. Please forgive me. I’ll always remember you fondly, and I ask that you will do the same for me.
Your loving main squeeze,
Calculating Einstein (Cal.E.)
C.: There, that’s the best I can do without revealing what’s really going on… NO!!! Meow Z. Tongue must be stopped! If I run away and hide, he’ll just come back and try to commandeer all of Earth’s precious resources again (at least those that are left). I must stop Meow Z. Tongue, once and for all, so I’ll…
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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