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Cal.E.'s Korner










Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am Make a piece in your master game plan Free from the earthly temptation below I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Bring on the brothers who've gone on before And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door All the departed, dear loved ones of mine And stick 'em up front in the offensive line

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft

Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music


d.: We’ll get back to Cal.E. and Elac tomorrow. Today, two articles in the Houston newspaper caught my attention, and I’d like to comment on them now that the Astros have gained a split with That Team Up North Whose Name Must Not be Mentioned in this Blog. The first was written by my favorite communist in the local newspaper. He stated that the Astros were treated like red-headed stepchildren (sorry, it’s just an expression) by the baseball commissioner, Rob (He is NOT a) Man,Fred. Rob went on and on about “The Worst Scandal Since The Chicago Black Sox Scandal” and totally ignored the fact that the Boston Red Sox, along with the team the Astros played this weekend, were mildly scolded for getting caught cheating twice. According to Rob, the Astros were worse because they used a “much more complicated system.”

Two things strike me as strange about this statement. Number one is that the Red Sox and the other team used cell phones, while the Astros used trash cans. Hmm. I think Rob might be confused. Maybe he should be relieved of his duties. Someone please check his orientation to person, place, time and situation. He probably is oriented to the first three, but it sounds like he’s not oriented to the situation very well and should be relieved of his duties. That’s just a medical professional’s opinion, though.

The second thing that strikes me as weird about that statement is that the eight “Black Sox” players were all cleared of any wrongdoing when tried in a court of law. However, the first baseball commissioner, Kennesaw Mountain Landis, saw fit to ban these eight men from ever playing in the Major Leagues again, as well as being banned permanently from the Professional Baseball Hall of Fame. This group of eight men included “Shoeless” Joe Jackson, who batted .375 in the 1919 World Series. Imagine what he could have done if he hadn’t been trying to throw the series! There were reports of him playing in the minor leagues under an assumed name after this. Those reports were probably true. Joe Jackson was illiterate, by all accounts. Baseball was the only way he knew to earn a decent living, but I digress.

The second article was carried in the Houston newspaper, but it was written by an Associated Press writer from Los Angeles. In this article, the writer told how glad the L.A. fans were to have Joe Kelly back. Yes, a middle relief pitcher with a 2-8 record is L.A.’s savior. This is the same team that traded the Astros’ best power hitter, Yordon Alverez, for a washed-up relief pitcher and fifty grand.

How does a middle reliever have so many decisions? Well, he’s not very good is how. That’s the way middle relievers get decisions, by being terrible, which Joe Kelly is. Not just as a pitcher, but as a human being. All the Major League Baseball teams were warned not to throw at any of the Astros’ players who testified in the scandal. The first time he got a chance, Joe Kelly threw at Alex Bregman and Jose Altuve, who refused to participate in the sign stealing scandal, and scolded his teammates who were doing it.


Watching MLB games when I was a kid, I remember how things were when Dusty Baker played. If someone hit a home run and then tried to show up the pitcher by watching it or acting like an airplane, as one player, Keven Mitchell, was prone to do, the next batter could expect to get hit in the back or the butt with a ninety-mile an hour fastball. That’s how the game was played then, when players didn’t lift weights or know how to strengthen their arms enough to throw in triple digits. (Aside: Kevin Mitchell was maybe the most talented player whom no team wanted, because they didn’t want anyone else to pay for his arrogance).

I’m not quite old enough to remember Bob Gibson, who had a reputation for pitching (very) inside, a lot. But I do remember Nolan Ryan being unhappy enough to plant a ball in a plyer’s back. He could throw a baseball over one-hundred miles an hour, when he was forty-five! And the one person who took exception and tried to start a fight with Ryan, Ron Santos, ended up with a bloody nose and a bruised ego.

Back to Joe Kelly. He was suspended eight games for his transgression, which is like shaking a finger at a toddler and telling him/her ‘no-no, let’s not do that again’ when the toddler pummels another toddler or a baby. Joe Kelly was on the Red Sox team that won the World Series in 2018. It was revealed later that the Red Sox cheated their way to that title. Maybe that’s not accurate. Reggie Jackson stated that at least one-half of the Major League Baseball teams have systems to electronically steal signs. I think that figure may be a little low. If everyone is doing it, is it cheating?

Joe Kelly, whenever he gets a chance, will still point fingers at the Astros and tell you that they cheated to get the World Series win in 2017. Joe, maybe no one needs to steal signs to hit your stuff, because you aren’t a very good pitcher. Yes, you can probably hit triple digits if you try, but that doesn’t matter if the ball doesn’t spin and move. Also, Jose Altuve is 5’6, and Alex Bregman is 6’00’ (maybe). If you’re a real man, try throwing at Yordon, and then tell me what color flowers you want me to send to your funeral. He’s 6’5 (at least and 225-with one leg on the scale). Maybe you and the Dodgers will make it to the World Series, and so will the Astros. Then I’d love to see you pitch to Yordon, and you give him a waist high fastball that he could drive back through the box and drop kick you through the goal posts of life!

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