That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs
Don't mis-serve your own needs
Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter
With a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry
With the Furies breathing down your neck
Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
I feel fine (I feel fine)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
The other night I drifted nice continental drift divide
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Michael Stipe / Michael E. Mills / Peter Lawrence Buck / William Thomas Berry
It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) lyrics © Universal Music
C.: This is the most terrible thing that could ever happen!
E.: What is it, Cal.E., did the head monk drown in the river when you tricked him by throwing your voice and acting like a kitten that was drowning?
C.: No.
E.: Then, are you concerned that the inhabitants of this planet’s practices are harming the blue-green algae in the ocean so much that the total depth of the oceans will rise one foot by the year 2100, and that will cause the blue-green algae to die? And that will cause everyone and everything on the face of the earth to be so oxygen deprived that the earth would fail to have any life on it ten years later?
C.: No.
E.: Then, are you concerned because the Astros have now lost two games to That Team Up North Whose Name Must Not Be Mentioned in This Blog (according to d.c.) and that the Astros won’t go to the playoffs, or if they do, won’t repeat as World Series champions?
C.: No.
E.: Then, are you concerned that there isn’t enough food being equally distributed amongst humans and some are starving to death while others eat so much that it causes them to have health issues?
C.: No.
E.: Then, are you concerned about all the dogs and cats that are without a good home?
C.: No.
E.: Then, are you concerned that the head monk will return before we can watch the Astros’ game and kick us out of the monastery, thus resulting in the two of us being cursed to roam the earth like the Biblical Cain in the Old Testament?
C.: No.
E.: Then, are you concerned that your ex-finance, Tucker Tucker Two, the five-time heavyweight cat fighting champion of the world has sent two of his henchmen to find you, and they did? Are you concerned that they’ll take you back to Houston and make you marry a rich, handsome fat cat who's obsessed with making you happy?
C.: No.
E.: Then, what pray tell, are you so concerned about that you think that the world is ending?
C.: I left the chips and queso in the kitchen. The queso is getting cold, because I forgot to take it out of the microwave oven and bring it in here, along with the chips. And…the Astros’ game is about to start. This T.V. doesn’t have a DVR on it, so I’ll miss the first pitch of the game if I go into the kitchen now and retrieve the snacks for us. I want to see Jose Altuve abuse the…other team like he usually does when we visit them in The Bronx in New York.
E.: (Heavy sigh). I’ll go get the chips and queso, Cal.E. You can tell me what happened when I get back.
As ELAC heads for the kitchen, it gives some sinister beings an opportunity to fulfil their quest, since her personal protector isn’t by her side and…
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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