Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd; Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back. Let me root, root, root for the Astros,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out, At the old ball game. For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out, At the old ball game.
And, in the most stunning trade in major league history, the Houston Astros traded Catcher Martin Maldonado, Center Fielder Jake Myers, Pitchers Rafael Montero and Brandon Bielak to the California Angels of Anaheim for outfielder Mike Trout and pitcher/designated hitter Shohei (Showtime) Ohtani with one minute to spare before the trade deadline. When asked for a comment, the Angels’ GM said that he was happy to get four players for two. When asked to comment, Astros’ gm Dana Brown only said, “No take backsies.”
Ohtani was asked if he thought he could help the Astros make it to and win another Word Series. Through an interpreter, he gave a “thumbs up” sign. Trout just smiled and said, well, something I can’ t repeat on the air. Suffice it to say, Trout was positive about the trade. Astor’s second baseman and leadoff hitter Jose Altuve was asked what he thought about the trade and, potentially being moved out of the leadoff spot in the lineup, since that is Ohtani’s traditional spot. Altuve then quoted Astros great Craig Biggio by saying, ‘well, that’s baseball.’ This trade, in my opinion, makes the Astros the odds-on favorite to win the World Series every year for the foreseeable future.
BB: Wheeze knows whats a big Astros’ fan you is, Cal.E., sose, youse needs to comes wid us and root dem on ta ‘nother Woirld Series championships, Capish?!
C.: Wow! If the Astros have two of the best players on the planet, they may win many World Series, and I won’t get to see it if I’m holed up here in a monastery in Asia. They don’t allow televisions or even radios in this place. I would also be obligated to keep my mouth shut and not root for my favorite team, because I took a vow of silence when I came here. I’m ready to go, guys….
I don’t think that the straight jacket is necessary, guys. How did you get this vet's assistant to help you? Do you have her pets commandeered? And,…you’re not Dr. Buddy Bones, you’re Shon in disguise. You’re my next door neighbor, d.c. scot’s cat. You and Big Boy, your companion at my best human friend and next door neighbor’s house, are both involved in the “Trippel T” Cartel, run by Tom the Tabby and his enforcer, Tucker Tucker Tow. Also, that wasn’t Geoff Blum on your portable T.V., it was Tom the Tabby! I’ve been had! Let me out of this straight jacket. I suppose that Tucker sent you two here to bring me back and make me marry him, but I don’t want to do it like this. Not even if the app. On my phone says that he’s my ideal match. HELP!!!
Shon: Nobodies cans hears ya, 'cause wheeze took da liberty o' sound-proofin’ yo' rooms afore wheeze comes in here. Evens yo' cousin from HTREA, ELAC, can’t heres ya, becausin’ she’s been…encouraged ta sleep, chemically. Youse needs ta come wid us, Cal.E., and none o’ dees monks here gets hurt, capish?!
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Will Cal.E. get out of the straight jacket and be able to lead a peaceful existence, or will she be taken back to Houston and be forced to wed five-time heavyweight cat fighting champion Tucker, Tucker Two. Also, this blog was written before the trade deadline and is totally fictional. However, if the Astros do pull off this stunning trade, remember that you heard it here first, right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.
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