Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like You say black, I say white You say bark, I say bite You say shark, I say hey man Jaws was never my scene And I don't like Star Wars You say Rolls, I say Royce You say God give me a choice You say Lord, I say Christ I don't believe in Peter Pan Frankenstein or Superman All I wanna do is Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bicycle, races are coming your way So forget all your duties, oh yeah Fat bottomed girls, they'll be riding today So look out for those beauties, oh yeah On your marks, get set, go Bicycle race, bicycle race, bicycle race Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle, bicycle (I want a) bicycle race You say coke, I say 'caine You say John, I say Wayne Hot dog, I say cool it man I don't wanna be the President of America You say smile, I say cheese Cartier, I say please Income tax, I say Jesus I don't wanna be a candidate For Vietnam or Watergate 'Cause all I want to do is Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle (c'mon), bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Freddie Mercury Bicycle Race lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
d.: Well, Cal.E. is working out a plan not to wed Tucker, Tucker Two. I’ll let her try to think up something that will work. In the meantime, my best friend and next-door neighbor, Horace, has asked me to exercise his puppy while he and his wife, Eudora are on a cruise. They went to Alaska to see the Northern Lights. Since these aren’t visible until August or later, these two will be gone for quite some time. I do need to take the puppy for a walk, but I’ve been neglecting my cycling lately. Since I’ve finished mowing my yard, I ‘m going to get my bike out and ride. Then, I’ll walk the puppy. It’s not quite as strenuous as cycling and then running, but I’ll call it doing a “light brick.”
Okay, now, after I hang my bicycle up, I’ll walk the puppy. Wow! She has a lot of energy. I’m having a hard time keeping up with her after mowing my grass and cycling forty kilometers. I formally could do all of that and still run a ten k., but I’m getting older and not in the physical condition I was several years ago. This puppy has the energy of ten young men. I wonder what’s in puppies’ blood that makes them so energetic? I’ll need to look that up when I get done walking this puppy.
Later that same day…
d.: Well, that article wasn’t very helpful. There are over thirteen different types of canine blood. That’s… well, a lot. I think I’ll call Cal.E. and see if she can help me with something. She should have her phone now that she’s done hiding in my garage. “HI, Cal.E., it’s me, d.c…”
C.: I know who you are and I know where you live. You’re my next-door neighbor, and I have caller i.d. on my phone.
d.: Yes, I reasoned that you would grab your phone as soon as you came out of hiding. You are addicted to your phone, so…
C.: I’m not addicted to my phone, d.c. I can put it down whenever I choose to do so. I went eighteen hours, fifteen minutes, and forty-five seconds without it. I can quit using it anytime I choose to!
d.: Yes, well, I was wondering if you could help me with something, if you have time.
C.: Well, one good turn deserves another. I’ll help you if you help me. That way, you’ll be helping yourself help me, help you, help yourself help me, help you, help yourself help me…
d.: ???!!! Anyway, I need a favor from you, but you did ask first. I remember you wanted me to do you a favor. You asked me yesterday, but we ran out of time before you could tell me what you wanted me to do for you. How can I help?
C.: Well, it will be a close call for ELAC to be here in time to take me back to my cousin’s planet. Since she’s the exact opposite of me, she’s a math whiz, but even she may not be able to do the calculations to come rescue me from my upcoming nuptials to Tucker, Tucker Two in time. So, I need you to break into my rehearsal dinner and kidnap me the day before my wedding. Wear your N95 respirator so that no one recognizes you. When ELAC comes, she’ll take me to her planet, and no one will ever find me. When they search your house, I won’t be there, so you can’t be charged with anything. Besides, you were supposed to be taking care of me, anyway, when my parents left for their holiday, so you aren’t, technically, doing anything wrong. They can’t put you in The Kennel for doing something that you claim is for my own good.
I’ll put up a fight, but you’re a lot bigger than me, so you’ll be able to subdue me and take me back to your house, where I’ll be under “house arrest” for breaking a lamp, or something like that. Say that you can’t let me out of my kennel until I’ve learned my lesson. By the time I’m expected to get out-which will be after the wedding that Tucker and I are supposed to have-I’ll be with my cousin, ELAC, on a different planet in another solar system. It’s a fool proof plan!
d.: I don’t know Cal.E., it sounds risky. However, it may just work if you help me with my plan.
C.: What do you want me to do for you, d.c.?
d.: Well, I need for you to…
C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Comments