That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs
Don't mis-serve your own needs
Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter
With a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry
With the Furies breathing down your neck
Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
I feel fine (I feel fine)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
The other night I drifted nice continental drift divide
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Michael Stipe / Michael E. Mills / Peter Lawrence Buck / William Thomas Berry
It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
d.: Well, Cal.E. had flown the coop and doesn’t want to be found. I’ll respect her wishes and just concentrate on my regular chores, like mowing my grass. Hmm.. my garage door is sticking, so I’ll need to give it a good tug to get my lawn mower out of here..;
Cal.E., what are you doing in my garage?
C.: Oh, woe is me! Now it really is the end of the world, because I’ve been found!
d.: Didn’t you think it would have been a good idea to go a little farther than next door to hide from your fiancé, Tucker Tucker Two?
C.: Well, think about it, d.c. Most humans and animals searching for me would reason that I would go as far away as possible. I reasoned that, if I stayed close by, no one would find me.
d.: Where did you get that idea?
C.: From one of your manuscripts that you asked me to review.
d.: Oh, yeah, I remember that. But, Cal.E., did you forget that I now speak Catonese? You ate one-half of Big Boy’s dinner last night, and both of my cats, Big Boy and Shon* saw you when you came in from the garage. What were you thinking?
C.: I was thinking that there was a nice, dark garage right next door where I could get food and shelter. Also, I had easy access to a litter box that’s cleaned regularly, and I reasoned that my best friend would never tell anyone where I was. Now, I have a question for you.
d.: What’s that, Cal.E.?
C.: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!! I ate as much of Big Boy’s food as I could. He’s three and one-half times my size, though, so I couldn’t finish it. I did this so that he would go tell you what I had done. I made it a point to not go back into the garage too quickly because I wanted both of your cats to see me and tell you where I was. It took you long enough to find me!
d.: Cal.E., you were literally in the last place I looked (of course, it was also the first place I looked). I knew where you were, but I thought you may need some privacy to think things out and come to your senses. And, once I knew where you were, there was no use in looking anywhere else, because I had already figured out where you were, thanks to Shon and Big Boy.
C.: Okay, enough about this. I know that you think things out thoroughly before acting d.c. Did you come up with a plan for me, once you knew where I was?
d.: I did. You need to go through with your marriage to Tucker…
C.: That plan stinks, d.c.!
d.: Let me finish. Go through with the ceremony. Then, a week or two later, come clean with Tucker. Tell him where you’re from, and who you really are. Then, if he still wants to stay married, file for an annulment. Say that you married Tucker under false pretenses, and you want to do the right thing. That way, you will have fulfilled your commitment and Tucker and Tom can’t be mad at you. Say that you did the best you could with an Earth cat several years ago, and it didn’t work out. Consequently, you would like to end this marriage before the same thing happens so that you don’t hurt the big guy too badly. That should earn you respect from those two criminal cats, and you can live your life in peace from then on.
C.: No, that will never work. Tucker is too infatuated with me to let go of me that easily. d.c., that leaves me only one choice. I must…
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
*Not their real names. Also, the real Cal.E. Kat died years ago, so she’s not real either. And, I don’t speak Catonese. Also, my real name isn’t d.c. scot, that’s a pseudonym. Al isn’t my alias, and I don’t know whether the Planet of the Talking Cats exists because I’ve never been able to talk to a cat (or a dog, for that matter).
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