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Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Korner









That's great, it starts with an earthquake Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes And Lenny Bruce is not afraid

… Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn World serves its own needs Don't mis-serve your own needs Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength The ladder starts to clatter With a fear of height, down, height Wire in a fire, represent the seven games And a government for hire and a combat site Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry With the Furies breathing down your neck

… Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped Look at that low plane, fine, then Uh oh, overflow, population, common group But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light Feeling pretty psyched

… It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine

… Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline

… It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone) I feel fine (I feel fine)

… It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

… The other night I drifted nice continental drift divide Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right

… It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

… It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

… It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

… It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone) It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Michael Stipe / Michael E. Mills / Peter Lawrence Buck / William Thomas Berry

It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group


C.: Well, d.c.'s still busy with his class. He said that he also needs to make a decision about one of his manuscripts, so I’ll be “flying solo” for the next couple of days. He doesn’t seem to understand that I have several decisions to make, too. I mean, it may not be the end of the world, but my marriage to Tucker Tucker Two will be the end of my time as a single queen. That’s an interesting word. For instance, it can mean a female cat, or it can mean royalty. It can also mean a man who prefers the company of men. I thought most men did, but I’m a cat, so what do I know?

Also, why aren’t gay women called “Kings,” if gay men are referred to as “Queens?” Isn’t that sexist? If a man can be referred to as royalty, why can’t a woman? Anyway, back to my decisions.

Tucker picked the venue for the wedding, but he says that the rest of the decisions are up to me. Since my seven queen kittens will be my bridesmaids, Tucker said that my seven tom kittens will be his groomsmen. Where did these terms originate? The males are referred to as groomsmen, while the females are called bridesmaids. Are my queen kittens going to wash my clothes and clean my closet in my mom and dad’s house while the males sit around and smoke cigars or eat catnip? That sounds sexist to me.

Speaking a sexist, isn’t the institute of marriage sexist? Tucker says that I don’t have to take his last name if I don’t want to. I’m glad he feels that way, since the way the tradition of a female taking a male’s last name originated because the female was considered the male’s property at one time. I already have two “owners.” Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have a third, though. Mom and Dad feed me and clean my litter box on a regular basis, and all I must do is purr for them occasionally. Maybe Tucker will do the same for me.

I am worried about getting remarried again, though. I’ve been single so long that I’ve forgotten how to be married. I’m sure Tucker will be expecting for me to do my “wifely duties.” What if I don’t remember how to mind mittens or darn socks? He could get really angry with me then.

Tucker is loaded, though, so maybe he’ll just hire another cat to do my “wifely duties.” Is that allowed on this planet? It is on my home planet, The Planet of the Talking Cats,” but I’m not sure about marital law on this planet. And I’m sure that Tucker will expect me to clean for him, but I get paid well for that at The Kennel. Is he going to pay me for cleaning for him, or is that just expected of wives on this planet? Maybe he can hire a cat to do that, too, if that isn’t considered cheating here on Planet Earth.

And then there is the problem of where and how we sleep. Does he prefer to sleep on a bed or a hard surface, like the floor or the kitchen table? I have a bed at Mom and Dad’s house, but I’m sure Tucker would prefer his furniture over mine. He can afford better stuff than I can, but I’m accustomed to my bed. This is getting to be overwhelming! I don’t know if I’m going to be able to go through with this! I may even go back to eating catnip if I get more stress out! Maybe I’ll…

d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.


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