Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am Make a piece in your master game plan Free from the earthly temptation below I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door All the departed, dear loved ones of mine And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
C.: Well, d.c.’s busy with a writing class, and the guards on the night shift at The Kennel are fighting over the two handicapped parking spaces. I won’t be able to go into The Kennel for a while and do my job, so I’ll just let my mind wander.
Hmm, why are people who are supposed to be protecting the rest of the workers at The Kennel fighting over a handicapped parking space? Aren’t they supposed to be able to do fifty “up and downs" and then hit a target with a handgun? Shouldn’t the guards be working on their physical condition, as well as their accuracy with a weapon? Walking isn’t hard, and it helps keep you in shape. d.c. always parks in the last parking spot to get more exercise. That’s why I prefer to ride the bus than to ride with him. I get enough exercise doing my job!
Since the guards are so out of shape that they need to park in the closest parking space to The Kennel, I’m afraid one of the inmates may dropkick me through the uprights of life if one of them gets mad. It wouldn’t be hard, since I’m a seven pound and one-half pound cat. It wouldn’t be difficult for most of them.
Maybe I should train Mom and Dad’s new puppy to work with me. She has plenty of energy, and she needs to be kept occupied. She needs to work off some of her energy. Someone else who needs to be occupied at all times is Tucker. He keeps writing me love letters. I wish he had a catfight to train for, because that would keep him busy. He’s anxious for us to get married this month, so he’s secured a venue. The cost is a little extravagant, but he says that I’m worth it. I’m not sure that I’m as anxious to get married (again) as he is. He’s gotten carried away, I’m afraid.
The letter he wrote me six months ago was touching, but a little worrisome. He said that he would love me for this and eight more lives. I gather that’s more than two, but I’m not sure. That’s as high as I can count. It sounds like a long time, though. I’m also not sure that I’m good at long term relationships, but is anyone? Not being the other person, it’s hard to know how to react or to treat the other person. Queens and tom cats like to be treated differently. d.c. says the same is true of people. Men and women have different needs and wants. If a man treats a woman like he wants to be treated, she probably won’t stick around for long. Maybe that’s why I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable. Tucker is treating me like he wants to be treated. Maybe I should treat him like he’s treating me. That may pacify him, and keep him from writing me more love letters. I’ll start my letter with a poem. Let’s see…
My dearest Tucker,
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Flowers smell bad
And so do you
No, I’m just no good at this. I’m worried that I won’t be a good fit for Tucker, Tucker Two, but he is loaded. He held five catfighting world championship belts before he retired. He won a lot of money that way, and he and Tom the Tabby are in business together shaking down cats for protection money. I hear that pays well. However, Tucker insists that I’ve changed him. He says that my work ethic has inspired him to give up his life of crime and walk the straight and narrow. I know for a fact that doesn’t pay as well as crime. That’s especially true if I can’t get to a time clock and clock in for my shift! I need to find a way to make more money, if Tucker insists on going straight. Eureka! That's it. I’ll… Wait, the gates are opening, so I suppose that the guards have resolved their differences. I’ll need to go to work now.
Will Cal.E. devise a solid plan to keep her and Tucker “in clover”? Will she actually marry the big lug, or will she leave the five-time heavyweight catfighting champion at the alter? and will d.c. return to the blog? Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner to get the answers to these and other questions, even ones you haven’t thought of yet (and may not want to know the answer to).
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