HI! It’s Cal.E. Kat, flying solo once more. d.c. is taking a mandatory rest from both of his jobs AND writing this blog. When he came to work wearing a white jumpsuit yesterday, his charge nurse sent him home to rest. She realized that he was so tired that he was not oriented to person, place, time, or situation. Hopefully, he will use his time off to rest and not campaign for Elvis and Freddy for president and v.p. in ’24. IN the meantime, d.c. told me a funny story about the last inmate whose animal he was taking care of.
The man that tried to rob the woman who was a self-defense teacher as well as a martial arts expert, will be getting out early. She decided not to press charges, because he would be in enough pain for the rest of his life, according to her. Unfortunately, it may take the state a few months to process the paperwork, so the inmate needed medical attention while he was in the human kennel.
The inmate had a boil in an inopportune place, shall we say. Because he insisted on being in a wheelchair, that put a lot of stress on the boil, so he needed a bandage to cover it up and pad it. The inmate not only insisted on having a wheelchair, but he also wanted an electric one, since he said that his hands hurt badly.
When the inmate came to get his boil attended to and loaded on the stretcher in the infirmary, he forgot to lock the wheelchair’s brakes. When he climbed off the stretcher and into the wheelchair, his hand hit the joystick, causing the wheelchair to ram the wall, repeatedly. This caused the inmate to insist that he had whiplash and needed to be taken to the prison hospital, using life flight, since he was in so much pain that this merited an emergency. The nurse was afraid that the state would be sued, so she complied with his wishes.
When the paramedics loaded the inmate onto the stretcher to be put into the helicopter, they dropped him about two inches. (He was NOT a small man.) This caused the inmate to claim that he had a permanently injured spine and would require narcotics to counteract the pain that was caused by the injury. H3e claimed he would need pain relievers for the rest of his life. The prison doctor, also being afraid of being sued, complied and wrote a prescription for narcotics for the inmate’s pain. The diagnosis was C R A P (or, rather CRP).
The inmate was concerned, though, that he would not receive his narcotics after being released from prison, so he asked to talk to the head honcho. His question for her was, “Should I come to the prison to receive my narcotics after my release or will the state mail them to me?” I think he will be waiting by his mailbox for a VERY long time for the narcotics to come to him in the mail.
This has been Cal.E. Kat with another absolutely (somewhat) true story.
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