Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Hi, d.c., can you do me a favor and watch my dogs tonight?

d.: When did you get a dog?

C.: Not A dog, two dogs.

d.: When did you get two dogs?

C.: Yesterday. my third husband, six-time World Association of Cat fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology heavy weight champion of the world, Tucker Tucker Two,

a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by T.’s for BFF, business partner with the Triple T Cartel and former tag-team WACKO cat fighting partner and now sworn WACKO enemy, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby) and I bought a male and a female Dalmatian to breed.

d.: I hope they aren’t litter mates. You can’t breed litter mates. I also hope you aren’t keeping the female in a cage only to ;let her out to breed. That’s cruel.

C.: No, we’re going to breed free-range puppies. WE will let them out to do as they please whenever they want to go out.

Everyone will want these puppies.

d.: Okay, well, you have fourteen middle-aged kittens living in Wayne Manore with you and my third husband, Six-time World Association of Cat fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology heavy weight champion of the world, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by T.’s for BFF, business partner with the Triple T Cartel and former tag-team WACKO cat fighting partner and now sworn WACKO enemy, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby), Can’t one of them watch your dogs for your and T.’s special night?

C.: d.c., you’ve met my kittens. What do you think?

d.:  That’s a good point. Anyway, what are your dogs’ names?

C.: Well, the female is a sweetheart, but she’s a little needy. Anyway, if Name starts following you around, just turn around and say, “Nama stay.”

d.: And what about the male?

C.: He’s kind of a rascal. His name is Spot. If you get mad at him, you can just tell him to go outside by quoting Shakespeare from the play “McBeth.”

d.: Okay, what are y’all doing tonight  that you can’t watch your dogs yourselves?

C.: We’re going out for a four-course meal and then driving around the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights. Then, when we get home, the fun will really stars.

d.: Okay, Cal.E., I get the picture. You don’t need to explain to me how a nice, romantic night will turn out…

C.: That’s right, d.c., we’re going to watch my favorite Christmas movie, DIE HARD!!!

d.: Then, I suppose y’all need to get going, so that’s all the time we have for tonight, folks, so that’s the end of this cat ta(i)le.

Please join us next time for another edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.