Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
d.: Thanks for inviting me to a barbeque, Cal.E. It was a good idea to bring a football. I haven’t had a chance to toss the ol’ pigskin around in quite a while. Now you can see why I was called "dangerous d.c." back in the day (it WAS because I got hurt a lot, but SHE doesn't know that).
Football season is almost here, so this will help us get into the mood to watch some preseason games!
C.: Sure, d.c. That WAS my plan. (What d.c. does not know is I put on his favorite song so he won't hear what I have to say. It also helps that he is totally deaf in one ear and doesn’t hear well out of the other.
d.: What’s that Cal.E.?
C.: I said, YOU SEEMED TO ENJOY THAT FIRST BURGER, WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER?
d.: Yes, please. It was nice of you to ask.
C.: (AND he refuses to wear a hearing aid!)
d.: What’s that Cal.E. ?
C.: I said DO YOU WANT SOME GATORADE?
d.: Sure, that would be nice. It is HOT out here!
C.: Sure, drink all you want. (I decided I would write today’s blog because I have some news I cannot share with d.c. He would not like what I have to say.
d.c. thinks that I have gone on the ‘straight and narrow.’ I have been doing a good job of convincing him of that! However, my plan is working out. I got a job at The Kennel so that I could spy on a group of bank robbers. I knew that they heisted over a quarter of a million dollars from a local bank. BUT they hid the money elsewhere. 250 K may not seem like a lot of money to you humans, but it is enough to keep a seven-pound cat in catnip until I croak!
I was sidetracked with my management job when I got promoted. I was cleaning those guys’ cells each time upper management came in and checked on me. My “special formula” beat juice helped, too. I was going to use the travel I did while training others to do my job as a way to find the loot, but I was called back to Houston to help fill in until replacements were found for me. None of my other kittens are bright enough (or dishonest enough) to help me, so I recruited my youngest son. I said I would cut him in on the profits if he played along.
I convinced some beatniks that Ralph and I hired with our honest money to ‘kidnap’ my youngest male kitten and take him on a tour of the United States. I told them they looked like a popular band from the seventies (imagine my surprise to find out they actually WERE Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young actually WANTING to go on a redemption tour!) When Ralph demonstrated his prowess on the bass, they were all onboard.
Ralph is working undercover for me. He is looking for the loot while I send him clues I get from the bank robbers while I am cleaning their cages. He then convinces his kidnappers that the place I suggest is the place where they will be received the best.
I knew that Ralph was a little different from the rest of my kittens, but I had no idea he would be such a smash as a bassist and backup vocalist. The band is even letting him write some of the lyrics and music for their songs! This is getting out of hand! At this rate, Ralph will give up looking for the loot and become a full-time musician. If THAT happens, I will never find the money.
So, whenever you see a song in this blog with the name of a town, Ralph will be playing in that city., Please go to the venue where he is playing and boo him and his band unmercifully. It is the ONLY way I will ever get my money, and YOU get to let out your frustrations on some no-good-nick kidnappers. It’s a win-win situation!
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