top of page
Search
Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Corner



In the quiet of the night.

I make up my dreams.

And steal a bit of peace.

To ease me through the day.

In the quiet of the night.

I make up my mind

C.: Hey, d.c. Are you busy?




d.: No, Cal.E. I am not busy. I was just checking expiration dates since it has been a quiet shift.

C.: D.C.!! You did NOT just go there, did you?!



d.: Go where?

C.: You used the “Q” word!

d.: Oh, you are referring to the old-fashioned superstition that most medical professionals believe that if one says “quiet” while on shift s/he will then have a busy shift. That is a bunch of hocum, Cal.E. I don’t believe in superstitions.

C.: Maybe so, but when I first started working at The Kennel, I said something about it being a quiet night. ALL the nurses then chastised me for using that word. It seemed that, right after that, there were multiple calls for emergencies. I never used that word again while on shift, for fear that I would be blamed and chastised for there being multiple emergencies if I did. Anyway, what are you checking expiration dates on?

d.: Scalpel blades.

C.: Aren’t they made of stainless steel, just like most flatware that humans insist on eating with?

d.: Yes, Cal.E., they are…

C.: Then why don’t forks, knives, and spoons have expiration dates?

d.: Because they are not necessary. I doubt that scalpel blades would literally expire, either. It is just the manufacturer’s way of trying to sell more goods by making the old ones expire at a certain time. If you remember, I made a point of using this strange concept in my first book, “Precision.” I thought it odd that a stainless steel object would carry an expiration date.

Incidentally, I had to throw away three containers of hand soap because they had all expired as well.

C.: How can soap expire?

d.: It will get old, and ineffective, I suppose. However, it may be because some (mainly inmates) choose to drink it, since it is 70% alcohol. There is a YouTube video that explains how this is done by using salt to settle the semi-solid ingredients to the bottom. Then, the alcohol can be poured off into a coffee filter to get the lumps and clumps out of the liquid.

C.: It must taste terrible!

d.: I’m sure it does, but I would prefer that to someone drinking “toilet bowl wine.” The name even grosses me out, which is hard to do after working at The Kennel for ten years!

C.: Where would inmates get the ingredients for that, or is that also explained in a YouTube video, as most things are now?

d.: When I first came to this kennel, one of the people from a church group that was visiting this kennel asked if he could bring in a LOT of fruit for the inmates, since it was Christmas time. Inmates can be sneaky with their requests. You or I would have caught that instantly, but for those on the outside, it is hard to understand….

Attention.. EMERGENCY we have a fight between multiple inmates! We need medical to come to the one dorm STAT

C.: I guess you need to go, d.c.

d.: It is probably just a drill…

This is NOT a drill! We have multiple inmates unable to get out of their bunks in dorms two, three, four and five due to toxicity. We also have an officer down in dorm six in need of medical attention! All medical personnel are requested to report to each scene STAT!

We have an inmate trying to cut his wrist with a safety razor in dorm nine. We have an inmate with suicidal ideation in dorm ten. This is NOT a drill!! REPEAT; THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!




15 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page