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Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Corner

Updated: Aug 2, 2022




Southern man, better keep your head

Don't forget what your good book said

Southern change gonna come at last

Now your crosses are burning fast

Southern man

I saw cotton and I saw black

Tall white mansions and little shacks

Southern man, when will you pay them back?

I heard screamin' and bullwhips cracking

How long? How long? How?

Southern man, better keep your head

Don't forget what your good book said

Southern change gonna come at last

Now your crosses are burning fast

Southern man

Lily Belle, your hair is golden brown

I've seen your black man comin' round

Swear by God I'm gonna cut him down

I heard screamin' and bullwhips cracking

How long? How long? How?

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Neil Young

C.: d.c.,d.c. , wake up! You were right!

d.: Right about what, Cal.E.?


C.: Ralph WAS kitten napped by a quartet of septuagenarians. These four seventy-plus year-olds ARE traveling the U.S. pretending to be Crosby, Stills, Nas,h and Young on a redemption tour. They are doing this, even though they are, in reality, a garage cover band. They ARE forcing Ralph to sing backup vocals and act as their roadie!

d.: How did you find that out, Cal.E.?

C.: Ralph sent me this text this morning. He sent the same text to Tom. His dad is a private investigator. He cracked Ralph’s code! Now, Ralph will send us both lyrics to songs that imply his present location. His bandmates will just think that he keeps the lyrics on his phone so that he can practice his vocals while traveling.

For instance, if they are headed for Topeka, Ralph will send a song to Tom and me by Kansas, like “Wayward Son, '' or “Dust in the Wind.” That would be MY signal to start looking there. That is because I took the western U.S., since I live in Texas. I will enlist T.J.’s help. He has training as a prison guard cat, so he should be of some help. Tom will help his dad search east of the Mississippi River. We can cover the whole country. I just hope he is not in some place like Guam, since that is MY territory.

d.: Tom’s dad is a P.I., but couldn’t find YOU?! That does NOT instill a lot of confidence in his skills as a P.I.! And why would you need to go to Guam?

C.: That IS a U.S. territory. IDK what lyrics Ralph would send to imply he is going there, but Tom is lucky. For instance, if he sees the lyrics for The Rolling Stones' popular song “Girl I Miss You,” He will know that Ralph is headed for Puerto Rico (lucky him!)

D.: Well…it is the height of hurricane season and…

Hey, what is this sheet of paper doing here? (oh, my aching head!)

C.: Don’t you remember anything about our conversation yesterday, d.c.?

d.: Not much. Just that Ralph is still missing and…. OH! NO!

C.: Did you suddenly remember something disturbing, d.c.?

d. Yes, Cal.E., I did. I remember writing this song when I came home from work. It is obviously in my handwriting, since no one else would be able to read it! (And why did I write the music in C sharp minor?!)

C.: Did you mean to write the music in a different key, d.c.?

d.: NO, Cal.E. That is NOT it. I always make two copies of my manuscripts for this blog, my songs, AND my books. That is so that, if one gets destroyed, I will have a backup. I make hard copies because my computer has been acting up lately. I don’t trust it anymore. I probably need to get a new one!

C.: So, where is the other copy of this…”song?”

d.: On the kitchen table….

EUDORA: DANE CHRISTIAN SCOT!!!

d.: I need to get out of here NOW!

C.: But, d.c., where will you go, what will you do?

d.: Frankly my dear (Cal.E.,) I will be…anywhere but here, doing anything else but talking to you where my wife can hear our conversation!





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