C.: (Ring) HI, d.c. I just had one question to ask you about my paycheck stub, since you have been working at The Kennel for ten years.
d.: What is it, Cal.E.?
C.: Well, you said that the Pe.T. tax on my paycheck stub was not because I was a working pet. You said that you paid the same tax. What pray tell, does Pe.T. stand for?
d.: That stands for pre-existing tax, Cal.E. It is a surcharge on your earnings because the government does not want to miss taxing you for anything.
C.: I see. Well, since you and I are both paid by tax money, wouldn't it make more sense to just deduct some of our pay and NOT tax us. THAT would make more sense, I think. Don't you?
d.: As I have been told many times, Cal.E., common sense has no place in the government. Besides, remember what Ben Franklin said, "The only two certainties in life are death and taxes."
C.: Well, I am a cat. Cats are said to have nine lives. Since I am a cat, is the government going to tax me nine times what you and other humans pay in taxes?
d.: I don't think so, Cal.E., but don't say that too loudly! You do NOT want to give anyone any ideas! Government officials have given out so much money since Covid started that they are looking for a way to recoup some of that money! The only way to do that is to raise taxes. Since people vote, and cats do not, they may think that is the way to make up for their losses. If they taxed you and your working pet coworkers, they might get a smidgeon of that money back. The nine times tax for cats may sound good to some people in charge of levying taxes! I would NOT repeat what you just said to anyone!
C.: I won't. But, since Texas has no state income taxes, how does the state pay its employees?
d.: By charging more sales taxes, as well as "luxury taxes" on things like hotels, luxury cars and tickets to sporting events. That way, those who actually have more money pay more taxes.
C.: Well, when you were in New York taking in the Astros-Yankees game, did you not pay a premium tax on those tickets? New York has a state income tax, but the price of your tickets was extremely high. I cannot believe that it all went into the merchant who sold you the tickets pocket.
d.: I'm sure that it didn't. Besides the price of the ticket, there was a service charge, as well as a premium tax for the seats we procured. The state tax was added to that. I stopped looking at the price after a while. It was just too much to take in. It was a good birthday present, though, even if it was a week early.
C.: Oh, yes, I must get you a gift before tomorrow. What kind of raw fish do you like? Snapper, Mahi Mahi, or maybe Tuna? Maybe, if it smells just right, I could buy you some of the bait you used when you went deep sea fishing with your sons. I LOVE fish bait! It smells SO good!
d.: That's okay, Cal.E. You do not need to buy me a birthday present. I am getting too old to celebrate getting older anyway. I would just like a nice, quiet day at work as my birthday present. That is all I ask.
C.: I will see what I can do. I will try to keep the yowling to a minimum (and I will try to keep the working cats quiet as well).
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