This is Skip Adz sitting in for Ben Dunn, who is taking an extended vacation due to "circumstances beyond his control." First up, we have Sarah Sunshine with the weather. It looks beautiful out there!
"( YouARE an idiot) It's REALLY HOT! Especially for someone who is eight months pregnant! Stop counting on your fingers, Skip. You know, as well as I do, who the father of this baby is! If I ever catch Ben Dunn back in Houston I'll...
O-KAY. That was Sarah Sunshine with the weather and some other VERY personal information. Turning our thoughts to other things, Russia has invaded another country today. The Russians say that Alaska once belonged to them, so they are going to take it back. A little closer to home, the White House says that if everyone drove an electric car, the price of gas would be driven down. The White House also believes that "climate change" would cease, and it would rain just the right amount to water the plants each night. Additionally, the temperature of the whole world would be seventy-two degrees year-round, night AND day. On an unrelated topic, the power companies in Greater Houston are declaring a rolling brown-out because there is not enough electricity to cool everyone's homes at the same time.
And now, for the ridiculous...The governor of Texas wants to uncap oil wells in his state. The White House says that it will cost almost as much money to do that as importing fuel from other countries, so it is not worth doing. I'm Skip Adz for Ben Dunn, with Sarah Sunshine. Have a better day (than I am having. I REALLY thought that kid was mine!)
d.: What is it Cal.E.? You know that you don't have to raise your hand to ask a question.
C.: I know d.c., but I have several. I am glad that Mom and Dad volunteered to watch all fourteen of my kittens so that I could come over here and watch the news with you.
d.: Aren't they like, middle-aged by now? Why do they need to be baby sat?
C.: If you saw how they perform their jobs at The Kennel, you would NOT be asking me that question!
d.: So, they are not doing well? C.: Well, Tom Junior has been promoted to security cat. They saw how he slept on the job, and decided that he would be a good fit on the security staff. He may end up in the Warden's office! THAT leads me to my first question. Why do the inhabitants of this planet let the least competent people have the most influence?
d.: Well, politicians are (supposedly) elected by the general population...
C.: I was talking about newscasters. And isn't Alaska still part of The United States? And why doesn't the president defend the forty-ninth state? And why does he get to decide when that happens, since he has never been in the military? What is the definition of almost? doesn't that word mean slightly less than? And why are there more wieners in a package of hotdogs than buns?
d.: You ARE full of questions, aren't you Cal.E.? I guess things are different on POTT-C?
C.: Yes, on the Planet of the Talking Cats, we put the least competent cats in leadership positions. That way, they do not interfere with anyone doing something constructive. They are out of harm's way.
d.: That sounds familiar.
C.: Also, the whole planet is united. We are a one-planet order. We decided to unite centuries ago so that we would not "go to the dogs" and destroy each other with wars!
d.: So, everyone gets along on POTT-C?
C.: That WOULD be nice, but no. That is the main reason I came to Earth. I did not agree with the one-world order politics, but the cats that controlled the planet had too much power for a small group of cats to change it, so I left; much like your pilgrims that started this country! They left what they felt was an unfair government and came to a new continent to start their own country. Tom was already here. He had been exiled because he was a "radical" according to the "powers that be."
d.: Why did they kick him off of the planet?
C.: Because he wanted public restrooms to be uniform. He wanted the tomcats' restrooms to be on the left, and the female cats' restrooms to be on the right in all public buildings and private businesses. He said that it was discriminatory against uneducated cats NOT to do this. His idea was that, if the restrooms were uniform, an illiterate cat would know which restroom to use, according to his or her gender. That is why we bonded so quickly. I totally agreed with Tom's idea, because I had not learned to read until I came to this planet.
Well, it is getting late, and Mom and Dad go to bed early. I must get some sleep before I begin another long shift training my kittens to do their jobs tomorrow. I will see you at work. Maybe we can "do lunch," if I can find the time!
d.: All right, Cal.E. Try to have a better day tomorrow!
Comentarios