d.: (ring) Cal.E. it is late. Why are you still wearing your work clothes?
C.: Because I am still at work, d.c. I will be with you as soon as I unclog this toilet. Okay, I can take a break now.
d.: You went to work at four a.m. Why are you still working on a day that should be one of your vacation days?
C.: Because things are so bad at Mom and Dad’s house that I would rather be here than at home!
d.: Are your kitten’s behaving so badly that you would rather spend twelve hours at work than to be with your formerly estranged kittens?
C.: Yes, d.c., I would. The situation has taken a turn for the worse!
d.: How so?
C.: Well, I decided to introduce my kittens to the other two cats that live at Mom and Dad’s house, because I needed them to look after my kittens while I was at work. THAT was a BIG mistake! My kittens started telling them how they had played jokes on Buddy Bones. One thought it was funny, but the other one sided with me. He scolded the kittens for their bad behavior. The other cat said that was NOT his place. The started arguing. It was not a good situation, and I needed to go to work. I had asked them to watch my kittens while I was at work, but they could not agree on how to discipline my kittens. One thought that it was okay to let them run amok, the other wanted them all to line up and obey like they were the Von Trapp family on the musical “The Sound of Music.”
D.: So, you just left your kittens with two other cats whose views on kitten rearing are polar opposites?!
C.: Yes, I needed to go to work. One of the workers from the night shift left work early because he was ill. The Kennel NEEDED me!
d.: It sounds like your kittens needed you more!
C.: I know, d.c. THAT is the reason I ran away from home! I am not a good parent, but I AM a good worker. I get accolades here for a job well done. At home, all I get is stress, stress, and more STRESS! Here, I have everything I need. I have my c-cleaning supplies, my c-candy to eat when I get hungry and my c-crafty coworkers to help me. I may stay here all day AND night.
d.: You can’t do that. You need to go home and deal with your kittens. And why are you stuttering? Is there something that you are NOT trying to say?
C.: No, I just want to do a good job! I had my glass of beet juice for breakfast this morning before I left for work. I am drinking it when I feel like I am getting tired here, too. It really does help! I can clean twice as many cages per hour as I did before I started drinking it.
d.: Just from drinking beet juice?!
C.: It is my “special formula.” I added a secret ingredient, but it is all organic. I grew everything in my special drink myself in Mom and Dad’s back yard! It is harmless AND effective!
d.: I must work a double shift tomorrow. A lot of nurses are going on vacation, and The Kennel needs extra help. Maybe I should borrow some of your “special beet juice” to get through the day tomorrow.
C.: Okay, d.c. Just find me when you are on duty. I will give you the “special beet juice” for free (this time).
(I wonder what effect ground catnip will have on a human?)
Comments