Cal.E.'s Corner

Now look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it You play the guitar on the MTV That ain't workin', that's the way you do it Money for nothin' and your chicks for free Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it Lemme tell ya, them guys ain't dumb Maybe get a blister on your little finger Maybe get a blister on your thumb We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries We got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these color TVs See the little faggot with the earring and the make up Yeah, buddy, that's his own hair That little faggot got his own jet airplane That little faggot, he's a millionaire We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries We got to move these refrigerators, we gotta move these color TVs We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries We got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these color TVs Looky here, look out I shoulda learned to play the guitar I shoulda learned to play them drums Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera man We could have some And he's up there, what's that? Hawaiian noises? Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee That ain't workin', that's the way you do it Get your money for nothin', get your chicks for free We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries We got to move these refrigerators, we gotta move these color TVs Listen here Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it You play the guitar on the MTV That ain't workin', that's the way you do it Money for nothin' and your chicks for free Money for nothin', chicks for free Get your money for nothin' and your chicks for free Ooh, money for nothin', chicks for free Money for nothin', chicks for free (money, money, money) Money for nothin', chicks for free Get your money for nothin', get your chicks for free Get your money for nothin' and the chicks for free Get your money for nothin' and the chicks for free Look at that, look at that Get your money for nothin' (I want my, I want my) Chicks for free (I want my MTV) Money for nothin', chicks for free (I want my, I want my, I want my MTV) Get your money for nothin' (I want my, I want my) And the chicks for free (I want my MTV) Get your money for nothin' (I want my, I want my) And the chicks for free (I want my MTV) Easy, easy money for nothin' (I want my, I want my) Easy, easy chicks for free (I want my MTV) Easy, easy money for nothin' (I want my, I want my) Chicks for free (I want my MTV) That ain't workin' Money for nothing, chicks for free Money for nothing, chicks for free Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Gordon Sumner / Mark Knopfler Money for Nothing lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

d.: I wonder how Cal.E. is doing today. I will call her and see. (ring) C.: Oh, hi, d.c. I am busy doing paperwork. The Kennel needs three more workers to replace me. They say that I was doing the work of three workers. I am looking at resumes now. I only have four applicants for three jobs, though. Let's see, the first one says that he wants a fifteen minute break every hour and one-half hour breaks for breakfast, lunch and dinner working a four hour shift. I will put this one in the "maybe pile." This one says that he cannot work on the fifteenth of any month, high holy days, or when it rains more than a sprinkle anywhere in Greater Houston. I guess he is hired, since I cannot predict the weather and do not know when high holy days are. He will just need to tell me. This one says that he cannot work in extreme heat or cold or high humidity. d.: He does realize that he will be working outside in the second most humid place in the United States, behind only south Louisiana, doesn't he? C.: I suppose, but it is a job shoveling dog poop for minimum wage. I must take whomever will work here, provided s/he passes the drug test. d.: What happens if an applicant fails the drug test? C.: then, the applicant must go to drug rehab in the kennel for thirty days. That applicant is then required to resubmit a urine sample. If s/he passes, then that applicant can reapply for the job. d.: What does the fourth applicant want? C.: A raise, and he hasn't even started the job yet (or even been offered one). d.: So, I guess that the first three are hired, then? C.: I suppose, provided they all pass the drug test (but I doubt they will). Tell your unemployed friends that The Kennel is hiring! d.: I doubt they would want to work for less than they are making by collecting unemployment. Especially if the job entails doing hard, physical labor, like shoveling dog poop all day. C.: (Heavy sigh) I know. The Kennel has been trying to replace me since I took my new position. I suppose I will need to get my work clothes on and do some actual work (now where IS my catnip?) d.: This will DEFINITELY end badly!