C.: I hope that d.c. finds my wallet soon. I will be up a creek without a paddle if he does not, and I HATE to swim! I will just ask myself "mind-clearing'' questions that have no answer in the meantime, like, "If identical twins come from the same egg and have almost identical DNA, how are their fingerprints different?" and, "Why does traffic slow down on a freeway with no traffic lights during the 'rush hours' of the day?" Also, "Since traffic slows down, why is it called 'rush hour'? Wouldn't a more appropriate name be 'slow hour'?" (ring)
"Hi, d.c. Why are you using facetime? Did you find my wallet?
d.: I did find your wallet, and I wanted to see the happy expression on your face when I told you. It is not all good news , though, I am afraid. The person who gave it to me must have taken some money out of it as a reward. There's not much left, I'm afraid. How much money did you have in your wallet when you lost it?
C.: Eleven large!
d.: WOW! That is bad, because I only found eleven dollars in your wallet. Nothing else. No insurance or credit cards, no i.d. card...
C.: You found my wallet with ALL the money I lost! Thank you,d.c.! You are a lifesaver! Now, I can pay Tom the Tabby back and not worry about his hench cat sitting on me!
d.: I thought you said you had eleven large in your wallet?!
C.: I did. Eleven dollars. That is a lot of money for a cat! I was able to bet almost my entire paycheck, after personal income taxes, FICA, insurance, union dues, parking, uniform fee, and cat tax were taken out. Just to be on the safe side, and to make sure I had enough to pay him his "user fee," I only bet eight dollars.
d.: So, all this to do .over eleven dollars and an eight dollar bet?!
C.: Yes, d.c. This way, I will have enough to pay off my debt, get a couple of hits of catnip, and give you something for your trouble. Feel free to take a big one out of my wallet as your payment for helping me!
d.: Wow! A whole dollar! Gas costs three times that per gallon or more, and my truck does not get good mileage and...never mind. You can have all your money back. I will consider it a personal favor. What about your "personal information," though?
C.: I don't keep THAT in my wallet, d.c. THAT would be silly! I might lose my wallet and never find it, like I thought I had this time.
d.: Where do you keep it then?
C.: Like any normal person or animal, I keep all of my personal information on my phone!
d.: Aren't you afraid of losing it, and risk someone stealing the money in your bank account, or stealing your identity?
C.: How would I lose my phone?
d.: It is not genetically attached, so it IS possible.
C.: Yes, but is it legal to walk around without one's phone? Doesn't the government use the tracking devices on them to track all of our movement? If I lose my phone, then they will think I don't exist! They will not know where to look for me, what I am doing all the time, how much money I make at my job, how to make me pay my taxes...
d.: NO! Cal.E! Do NOT throw that phone against the wall... I guess you need to go to the "Genius Bar" and get some help! Try to get it fixed by tomorrow, I am working a double shift and you will need it to do the blog alone.
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