d.: Hi, Cal.E. how are you?
C.: It is nice to see that you are yourself again, d.c.,but I have a small problem. I can’t stop shaking.
d.: I noticed that once Elvis left my body and I had seven hours of sleep. I looked at the picture on the blog. It looks a little blurry.
C.: Yes, I could never stop shaking long enough to take the selfie. I think I have Wobbly Cat Syndrome.
d.: I have never seen you wobble when you walked. Why do you think that you have WCS?
C.: Because I have been wobbly for the last three days!
d.: Well, cats are usually born with Wobbly Cat Syndrome. It is not harmful, they just cannot walk straight, due to a neurological condition. When a…mature cat wobbles when she walks, though, it is more concerning.
C.: Well, I do not want to go to the vet if it is not serious. He is working alone now. It would take forever to get in to see him as a walk-in.
d.: I agree. Maybe I can help. I will do a nursing evaluation on you and see if you really do need to see your vet. Are you experiencing nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or constipation?
C.: No, none of those.
d.: How about headache, confusion, slurred speech, or unusual forgetfulness?
C.: No. Not if I remember correctly.
d.: Your coat is shiny, and your nose is moist, so I do not think you are sick. It must be something else. What have you been eating for the last three days?
C.: Catnip, catnip, and more catnip. I can afford the premium stuff now! It is all I want to eat for EVERY meal and snack
d.: I think I have a diagnosis, and the intervention for it. Try eating something besides catnip. That should solve your problem. Speaking of which, your dad came to me with one. He said the bank contacted him and thanked him for paying off the second and third mortgage on his house. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?
C.: Well, since I had Tom’s phone and computer tapped, I knew that I could pick a winner in every game in the Elite Eight. So…I increased my portfolio by borrowing against my family’s largest asset. It was a sure thing, though!
d.: How did a cat take out a mortgage on a house?!
C.: You would be amazed at the things one can do with a computer and some skills, especially since Covid!
d.: You REALLY need to go back into rehab!
C.: I will as soon as I double my earnings. That will happen when Duke wins the NCAA Basketball championship. I bet ALL my money on Coach K’s farewell tour. It’s a sure thing!
d.: SMH. I hope Duke does win, for Coach K’s AND your sake.
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