d.: Cal.E. is still on the run, and I am busy trying to restore my classic car. So, I will just skip ahead and bring you more excerpts from Cal.E.’s journal.
Cal.E.’s Corner, Day Seventeen
Day seventeen for me on this strange planet coincides with the seventeenth day of March. That is the day that Earth dwellers celebrate something called “St. Patrick’s Day.” Since saints (and humans in general) are not that important to cats, my website, CNN, had no information on this person. I was compelled to use human search engines. This is what it had to say about the patron saint of Ireland and Northern Ireland:
Ireland has three official patron saints. They are Saint Patrick, Saint Brigid, and Saint Columba (also known as Saint Colmcille). However, Saint Patrick is considered to be the primary patron saint of Ireland. I know, from other research that I have done, that Sr. Columba was the patron saint of war. St. Brigid helped feed the poor and save them from starvation. (1)
There is also a myth about Ireland’s patron saint driving all the snakes out of the Emerald Isle. According to the human website This Day in History, snakes never occupied the island of Ireland, because it is too cold. (2)
What DID occupy the Emerald Isle for most of its time on this planet was this strange-looking plant that I was given to celebrate this holiday. It has three leaves and is called a “shamrock.” I wonder if it will give me the same feeling that consuming catnip does. Let’s see…(much). Well, I do NOT feel any different, but I DO feel compelled to tell you the story of the one saint who is celebrated on my planet (as soon as my eyes focus and I can read this page in my textbook…Oh well, I will just reproduce the story from memory).
Now, I have already established that humans are strange. However, on my planet, we have only one patron saint. He was the first talking cat who came to my planet and established a colony of cats. He, of course, came with his wife, and they had many kittens. Now, there are many of my kind, thanks to a human who took two cats into space and left them on an alien planet.
That is the myth that is taught in obedience school on my native planet. WE start our years on his birthday. When the planet revolves around the sun once, which takes more than two days, it is a new year, and we celebrate by sleeping all day, then feasting on our prey at night. That is the only holiday on planet POTT-C. On the Planet of the Talking Cats, we are industrious felines (mainly because catnip does not exist on our planet). IF catnip existed on POTT-C, we would find many more reasons to celebrate and partake of the nectar of this delicious plant, which is much tastier than this Trazadone pill that I must take now in place of my catnip and..zzzz
2. From St. Patrick, the Man, the Myth: This Day in History. Recalled 3/17/22
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