C.: "Everybody Has a Plan Until They Get Punched in the Mouth." Mike Tyson. I wonder who that is? He (or she) sounds like a smart person! Let me look that up on CNN. Tyson, Mike. Here he is. "Along with George Foreman, Joe Frazier, and Muhamad Ali, one of the greatest heavyweight boxers of the twentieth century." Let's see: "Boxing:" "The 'sweet science'." Well, I AM a scientist. Maybe I should look into this further. HMMM..."Involves humans punching each other until one drops or is declared the winner on a (crooked) points system. Hmm. It says here that Ali, regarded as many as the G.O.A.T., was probably the quickest heavyweight. Hmm. Well, cats are the quickest North American land animal, and I need to earn some money to pay Tom the Tabby back the money that I...well, took from him! I do NOT want to go another round with "The Tuxedo." He IS what one would call a heavyweight! If I survived going a round with him, maybe I would be able to stay in the ring with a HUMAN heavyweight and earn some dough! I will check the specifics and see what it takes to become a heavyweight boxing champion. I suppose one should train to do this! Let's see..."Training for a heavyweight boxing match..."
d.: Hi, Cal.E. what are you doing? Looking on CNN to find fast ways to "earn a buck?" (hehe)
C.: Yes, d.c. That is exactly what I am doing. I cannot be sat on again by that huge animal, "The Tuxedo." "Tom the Tabby" wants his money back! I spent it all on catnip and ...well, catnip. I should be able to train for six weeks and beat a "tomato can." Then, that should put me into a championship boxing match! I will be able to pay Tom back and buy some more cat...er, late Christmas presents for Mom, Dad, and my brothers! (yeah, that's it!)
d.: It does NOT work that way, Cal.E. Most of these boxers, even the "tomato cans" have been honing their skills from a young age. Boxing is like playing football in Texas. One must start at a VERY young age to be successful. I would wager that most boxers have been boxing since they were able to walk...
C.: That's it! I will WAGER what I have left of Tom's money and win a fortune! I just need to go to my source and see who is favored in the next boxing match...
d.: Cal.E.! Do you REALLY think that is a good idea?! WAGERING is what got you into the mess to begin with. You need to find an honest way to earn money to pay "Tom the Tabby" back.
C.: I do NOT have time to do that. Besides, it was NOT wagering that got me into this mess, remember? I did not have the money to put up to bet on the college football playoffs and neither you nor Dad would lend me the money. So... this is kind of YOUR fault!
d.: How do you figure that? Your dad and I were just trying to keep you from getting into MORE trouble. Cal. E., if you do NOT straighten up, you may spend the rest of your life in rehab!
C.: Well, at least THERE I will be safe from "The Tuxedo."
d.: Find another way, Cal.E, please.
C.: I will, d.c. You have my word. (Now, where is that money I won on the Miami-Dallas game? I can get even odds on the favorite in the next match...)
Tune in tomorrow, folks. When we find out if Cal.E. heeds d.c.'s words, or gets into more trouble with his bookie and must go into hiding again!
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