Cal.E.'s Korner

Tux: (ring) You don’t know who this is, but I know where you live.

d.: Well, my caller i.d. says that you’re my best feline friend, Cal.E.’s

third husband (and second on this planet) the seven-time World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology cat fighting champion, Tucker Tucker Two,

a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by his former BFF, cofounder and business partner with the Triple T Cartel, and now chief WACKO rival and nemesis in real life, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby).

Besides, we'er on ffacetime, T. I can see you.

Tux: Oh, yes. I forgot about modern conveniences. Anyway, don’t you remember that I told you that, some day, I may ask you to do me a favor, after I fixed everything with your…situation.

d.: I’m sure you did the best you could, T., but my situation with We Care As Little As Possible (and sometimes less than that) is ongoing. Anyway, what can I do you for?

Tux.: I already told you what I wanted you to do.

d.: T, you know how bad my memory is. I didn’t write it down, so you’ll need to refresh my memory.

Tux.: I asked you to get all fourteen of Cal.E.’s grown@#$%! kittens

out of my house, Wayne Manor. I have a doctorate in playing and hiding from the Unviserity of Cat Skills, and I cannot figure out what to do, so I asked you to do this one thing for me.

You said to help them get jobs and then maybe they would move out when they had their own money.

d.: Did they get jobs?

Tux. Well, all but Jodi.

I don’t include her in this, d.c. It would take a miracle for someone to higher her. She’s…special, you know.  But the other twelve kittens are using their money to buy junk food and video games. They trash my basement daily!

d.: I thought there were a baker’s dozen besides Jodi, not just twelve.

Tux.: I’m not counting Ralph. The world’s best bass player

is on tour with Ralph

and the RoCKats.

He spends his money on the hotels rooms he’s trashed while on tour and the catnip he was eating when he did it.

This is getting old fast. If these kittens were humans, they would be in their late forties.

d.: Well, what does Cal.E. have to say about this?

Tux.: She just tells me that, since she wasn’t there for them when they were younger, she wants to make up for lost time. However, this is driving me crazy. I’m about to lose my mind!

d.: Hmm..This sounds like a problem for someone who has better knowledge of alien cats than we do. Since they’re only half alien, though (on their mother’s side) she may not be able to help us, but it’s worth a shot.

Tux.: to whom are you referring?

d.: it’s….

C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. That’s the end of this cat ta(i)le.

Please join us next time for another eviction of Cal.E.’s Korner.