Cal.E.'s Korner

d.: Now that I’ve turned over the responsibility of writing our daily blog to Cal.E., I can relax and watch the NCAA basketball tournament without having to worry about what to write daily. Let me see what time A&M and U. of H. play.

C.: Well, d.c. is busy…doing what I don’t know. He isn’t working in his yard, but he did entrust me to write this script by myself from now on, so I will talk to my new roommate (until he remembers where his human lives and goes there) the former Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy, Meow Z. Tongue.

Meow, how does it feel to be the deposed leader of an entire galaxy? You were the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy throughout your first eight lives, and now you’re begging for shelter from the former queen of the Plane of the Talking Cats; the same cat you had hurled into space because she made one mistake and ate her husband, King Tom’s Rodent prepared for Royalty?

M.: Well, I must say that I’m a bit humbled, Cal.E. I was once the most powerful cat in the whole galaxy, and now I must beg for shelter and food from a mere peasant cat such as you. It is such a humbling feeling to be disgraced in this way….

C.: What do you mean by “peasant cat”? I’ll have you know that I’m married to the seven-time World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology cat fighting champion, Tucker Tucker Two

a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by his former BFF, co-founder and business partner in the Triple t Cartel, one-time World Association of Cat Fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology tag -team partner and now chief rival for his seven WACKO championship belts and now arch enemy, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby).

T is a meow-illionaire,

and I have access to all his money. Meanwhile, you have access to what? An old lady’s lap and some cat treats if you don’t make her mad? What kind of life is that for a deposed leader of a whole galaxy?

M.: And what kind of life is this for you, Cal.E.? You were once the queen of a whole planet, a powerful position.

Now, you must beg your husband for money and do as he says. Don’t you want to go back to your real home and resume your place as the queen of that planet?

C.: Well….that would be nice. I would miss T and d.c., as well as the rest of my friends here on Earth, but I do miss my home planet and my foster parents…

M.: Then you must do as I say and have me declared the Ruler of the Cat Galaxy once again. With my brains and my brawn, as well as your…influence that your husband has, I can…

I mean we can once again rule the Cat Galaxy, along with the Planet of the Talking Cats!

C.: Well…

Tux.: Cal.E., what are you doing? Are you talking to Meow Z. Tongue while looking him in the eyes? Remember what you told me, that he can hypnotize other cats with his gaze. That’s how such a power hungry, despicable cat became so powerful!

C.: Well, T, I would answer you, but we’re out of time for today. That’s the end of this cat ta(i)le.

Please join us tomorrow for another edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.