Cal.E.'s Korner

Meow Z. Tongue:

Okay, Cal.E.,

it’s almost check-out time in this five-star dump

and you said that your third husband, (and second here on this planet, Tucker Tucker Two a.k.a.

The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by his former BFF, co-founder and business partner in the Triple t Cartel, one-time World Association of Cat Fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology tag -team partner and now chief rival for his seven WACKO championship belts and now arch enemy, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby)

whom he may or may not have defeated for the middle weight  WACKO cat fighting crown should be here by the time we check out. Hopefully, he’ll bring enough money to pay for our stay here.

C.: Oh, he will. He’s a meow-illionaire.

M.: So, why don’t you tell me what happened in the third round of the cat fight between you and T.

C.: Okay, this is the conclusion of

                                                            A  STRANGE PLANET

As I sat in my corner (Cal.E.’s Korner) of the cat fighting ring, I convinced my trainer, d.c. scot, not to throw in the towel and admit defeat.

Even though I could hardly stand up, I wanted to have my gambling debt forgiven by the Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby.

Since I was too tired to run away from T and his deadly knock-out punches, d.c. said that there was one way I could win the cat fight and walk away from my debt, but he made me promise never to gamble again if he told me how to defeat the six-time WACKO cat fighting champion of the world. I agreed to his terms, and we had a conversation that went a little like this.

Okay, Cal.E., after studying film of both you and T, I noticed that your right uppercut is 0.00000000000001 seconds faster than T.’s haymaker. He wants to get as much power behind his punch as is available to him, so he takes a little extra time to make that punch. If you go out in the middle of the ring and act as if you can’t move, he’ll try to land his haymaker to end the cat fight. When he draws buck, hit him with a right uppercut with every ounce of strength in your body. (honk).

C.: Well, T’s here so I guess it’s time to go….

M.: FINISH THE STORY, PLEASE!!

c.: Oh, okay. I did what d.c. told me to do and won the cat fight by knocking T out with a right uppercut to his jaw.

Afterwards, T admitted that he was infatuated with me, so he let me win the fight. He took me on a motorcycle ride,

and we had a few other dates before he proposed marriage.

I said ‘yes,’ of course, but T felt guilty about Tom getting messed over, so he paid Tom bac all the money I owed him plus the money I stole from him with interest.

M.: And you and he lived happily ever after…(honk)

C.: Not if he keeps beeping that…..

d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. That’s the end of this cat ta(i)le, but now you know,

. C.: Horn.