Cal.E.'s Korner

Meow Z. Tongue:

Putting that concert with Ralph and the RoCKats

was a lot of fun. Man, your son played the bass like he owned it.

C.: Yes, and he played this instrument well, too.

I did like putting on the concert, even though I only go to play the last note of the last song. The pay was good, though.

M.: Yes, and Ralph and I rocked with our duet, “The Cat’s Meow.” I’m glad he invited me up on stage to join him in his duet.

C.: Meow, he didn’t so much invite you, as you forced your way on stage and commandeered one of the microphones. You are the world's fattest...I mean biggest, no fattest hot dog.

M.: Oh, tomato, tomahto. What difference does it make?

C.: Well, maybe we wouldn’t have had to run through Mr. Canfield’s cornfield when he got run off the stage. It took us two days to get back to the hotel because of that. It was brutal.

M.: Yes, but we both got our dinner. for the night.

Speaking of brutal, why don’t we watch the “Cat Fight of the Millennium, featuring your husband and his for BFF.

C.: I’ll turn it on.

Okay. You two. This is a Texas Cage Grudge Match. It will go on if you are both standing. When one fighter knocks the other one out, he will then climb to the top of this ladder, and ring the bell at the top of the building. Whichever cat can do this, he will be able to call himself the World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology middle weight cat fighting champion of the world. He will also earn a POTTC cat treat; the cat treat that’s out of this world.

This introduction has been brought to you by Planet of the Talking Cats Cat Food. For flavor that’s out of this world, give your cat the best, POTTC cat food and cat treats. A flavor that is truly out of this world (ding).

And the two cats who were BFFs, business partners with the Triple T Cartel, and former WACKO tag team cat fighting partners have come to fight tonight. There trainers must be so proud…well, T’s trainer clearly is,

d.: Go T, you can do eet.

but Tom’s seems to be missing…(ding) That’s the end of round one, and I’ll call it a draw with both cats landing blows, but none hard enough to knock the other cat out. That would allow the winner to climb the ladder

and get a POTTC cat treat. For a  flavor that’s out of this world, try giving your cat POTTC cat food.

Oh, yes, the cat that can climb the ladder and ring the bell at the top of this building will also be declared the WACKO middle weight cat fighting champion of the world (ding)

And we’re eon to round two.

It looks as if T is going to bring it. He knocks Tom down, but he’s says he wants to continue after a standing eight count. (ding) That’s the end of round two, brought to you by POTTC Cat food and treats. For flavor that will knock your cat out, try POTTC Cat Food and treats (ding)

And we’re that’s the bell for round three, and it looks like Tom has figured out the T leaves himself open for an uppercut to the jaw when he tries to land his haymaker…T goes in for the kill, and Tom lands an uppercut to T’s jaw….

and both cats are down. The referee is counting both cats out…

T is up at the count of eight, and he’s climbing the ladder…But Tom is up at the count of nine and he pulls T to the floor. The cats knock heads as T falls down the ladder onto Tom.

Now, both cats are lying on the canvas again.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight...

Ladies and gentlemen, nonbinary individuals, and animals of all descriptions, we interrupt this program to bring you a rebroadcast of the movie Bambi.