Cal.E.'s KOrner

C.: Meow Z. tongue, you are no longer the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy, and we are both on a different planet in a different solar system so, you have no power over me.

Meow.: I know, Cal.E., but I need something to do.

C.: Why? Did the kindly little old lady who adopted you on this planet die, and you ate her corpse?

You didn’t did you?

M.: No, I didn’t but I’m getting bored just sitting on her lap and purring. This is different from being the Supreme Ruler of a whole galaxy.

C.: About that. Why did you decide to leave that position?

M.: Well, as you know, every two-thousand-two-hundred twenty-two cat naps, there is an election for the position of Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy….

C.: And you were voted out because you are ruthless, condescending, overweight, and overbearing?

M>: Well….yes. that’s why I came to Earth to find my old friend, Calculating Einstein Katt.

C.: I see. Meow, we were never friends. In fact, you and my first husband, King Tom,

put me in a spaceship

and kicked me out of the Cat Galaxy. I was queen of my planet, The Planet of the Talking Cats. That is, until I made a mistake and ate my husband’s “rodent prepared for royalty.”

Since I was the queen, though, I thought it was prepared for me.

M.: Well, you’ll be happy to know that a vigilante organization has overthrown King Tom.

He’s not in power on POTTC anymore. We’re both looking for something to do, though.

C.: Is Tom with you?

M.: No, he wondered off the planet and hasn’t been seen since. He’s assumed to be deceased.

C.: Well, he was on his ninth life, and at the end of that. I suppose that’s a correct assumption.

Meow, what is it you want to do now that you have all this free time on your hands?

M.: I want to sing with your band, the RoCKats.

I especially like yyour son Ralph, the bass player

Er...BASS player

C.: the last time you heard us practice at my human mom and dad’s house, you turned your spaceship around and headed back for the cat galaxy.

That stopped you from destroying the earth and ravaging it for the energy source that powers my home planet, hot air that is produced by politicians.

M.: Well, it worked out. We now have a spaceship

coming to Earth every six months and gathering as much politician’s hot air as it will carry. This seems to be an unlimited resource on this planet.

C.: It does, and the polls are open now for early bvotin gin the primaries, so there shouel be plenty of fuel for POTTC and the rest of the cat galaxay; but speaking of politicians’ hot air, how do you intend to sing with my band, when you can’t even listen to it?

M.: that was with you singing, Cal.E., If’ I’m the lead singer, my voice will be pleasing to everyone who hears it, including me.

C.: That’s..an interesting take, Meow. Let me think about this. I’ll need to take a cat nap and try to remember how and why I came to Earth. Then, I’ll decide if I’ll let you join my band.

M.: I’ll take a cat nap with you, and you can show me how you got here through mental telepathy. I’ll then relay that to the readers.

C.: Well, if we’re both going to take a cat nap, I suppose that’s all the time we have for today, folks. That’s the end of this cat ta(i)le.

Please join us tomorrow for another edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.