Cal.E.'s Korner

d.: (ring). Hold on, Cal.E. Trey came home from college to get some paperwork for his new job, and I wanted to give him some advice before he left.

“Trey, always remember and never forget, keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. You’ll then have a pointed nose, sinus problems, and probably tendonitis in that shoulder. Good talk, son.”

Okay, Cal.E, I’m sorry I haven’t called you lately, but I’ve been working on some television scripts, and I think I may have a winner or two.

C.: So, what does that have to do with me?

d.: Well, it’s not so much you as it is your third husband, Tucker Tucker Two,

a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by T.’s former BFF, business partner with the Triple T Cartel and former World Association of Cat Fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, and now mortal enemy and chief rival for T.’s six WACKO heavy weight cat-fighting titles, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby).

C.: ???

d.: Well, T.’s a meow-illionaire

due to his cat fighting and other…business adventures, and now anyone can have a show due to You Tube, so I thought he might want to back some of my more interesting ideas for a television show.

C.: I see…. Go ahead and I’ll see if any of them are worthy of my husband’s time and money.

d.: Okay, first, I have Ratman Bobbin. It’s about a boxer who isn’t exceptionally good, so he bobs and weaves a lot in the ring. However, while he was at his day job cleaning out nuclear waste at a military facility, a rabid, radioactive rat bites him. Since rats are nocturnal animals, he only gets his powers at night, but he spends them beating criminals into submission with his bare hands and leaving them for the police to find.

C.: d.c., doesn’t he also have most of his boxing matches at night? Wouldn’t his powers also be helpful in the ring?

d.:….Maybe he just doesn’t want to hurt his opponents too badly then, since they aren’t criminals?

C.: Okay, next.

d.: Well, next I have “Chef’s Surprise.” It’s about a former Army Ranger whose dream is to be a chef. So, when he completes his tour of duty, he goes to culinary school. However, he soon grows board of the routine of the culinary school because, like almost all special forces soldiers, he’s an adrenaline junkie. So, he seeks out criminals at night and, when he’s about to attack them, he yells, “Surprise!”

C.: Well, it has potential. Unfortunately, Jim Nieghbors is dead, so you’ve lost your best possibility for a leading man, as well as two surprises.

d.: Well, that’s okay, because I save the best for last….

C.: Oh, shoot! I forgot. I told T

that I would meet him to be…anywhere but here right now; so, that’s the end of today’s cat ta(i)le.

Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.