Cal.E.'s Korner

c.: Well, d.c. is at the gym trying to work off some stress after writing a big paper for one of his classes. Unbeknownst to him, I snuck (sneaked snuckered?) my phone into his bag and turned on the voice recorder without his knowledge. Now, we can hear everything that he is saying while driving to and from the gym and while he works out. I hope we can here him through his mask. He was told by his doctor to wear it at all times to avoid getting Covid again, and he takes that seriously. I think that he even sleeps with that mask on.

d.,: Okay, come on, dude. I’m doing cardo today, and this is the perfect parking spot. It’s only two-hundred thirty-two steps to the gym, and I can’t afford more than two-hundred-thirty-five. He’s hanging up and starting another conversation, and I need to get started. There’s another space a couple of cars down that’s empty, so I’ll park there and take big steps. That will cut down on my step count, so I can finish my workout.

Well, that walk  wasn’t so bad. I’ll check in and then go to the men’s locker room. Then, I’ll take the elevator to the second floor. That’s where all the cardio equipment is and I don’t want to waste any steps climbing stairs.

Hmm, I wonder why no one ever wants to use this stationary bike. Oh, now I see. It doesn’t work correctly. I’ll just slide over one bike and go for an hour and one-half, varying the degree of difficulty peeling the bike.

Okay, now that I’ve done that, I’ll goi over by the weights and do some crunches. I sued to do one-thousand of those a day when I was in really good shape, but I’d settle for one hundred today…Is that guy benching two one-hundred- pound dumbbells? I didn’t know they made dumbbells that heavy. Oh well, I could do that if I wanted to bulk up, but I just want to tone my muscles, not make them bigger. That would make me gain too much weight, and that’s not what I’m trying to do, I man, who wants to look like him?

Okay, that’s over, now I’ll go sit in the sauna, the steam room, the jacuzzi, and swim about one-quarter of a mile to test out my new swim googles. Then, I’ll just eat a light snack on my way home. My favorite restaurant is just on my way out of the parking lot for the gym. That was smart marketing, because they do good business with that location.

Wawawawa

?

s.: (It's a good thing I'm multi-lingual).“Yes, I’ll have a number one basket, a number two basket, and two number tow baskets. *hmm, I should also get some food for Eudora). And give me a petite basket. And a diet soda, please. That’s all to go.

Well, one0-hundred and four dollars sounds a little steep, but everything has increased in price since the Covid scare, and nothing has gone back down. I burnt over one-thousand calories at the gym today, plus what I did in the pool. I can’t wear my watch in the pool because it’s water-resistant, not water-proof. There is a difference, as I learned a couple of watches ago.

Well, with my pool time and my time in the sauna and steam room, I could double the amount of calories I burned, so that’s two thousand calories…Actually, the scale said that I’l lost two pounds. That’s seven thousand calories, so I should be ahead, even if I eat all three of these meals. They only equal…Eight thousand calories?!

(Censored).

C.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner (now how do I turn this thing off?)

d.: %&@#.

(Nope, that was the microphone…I’ll just turn it off for now..)