Cal.E.'s Korner

d.: I told y’all today’s edition would be riveting. (ring)

“Hello?”

C.: Hey, d.c. I need some advice about basketball.

d.: When and where to watch the NCAA Final Four?

C.: Something like that. I haven’t watched one game yet, but I’m in the semifinals of The Kennel’s working pets pot. I need to know which teams to pick to complete my purrrrfect bracket.

d.: You’ve picked all the winners so far, without watching one game?

C.: Yes, why?

d.: That’s hard to do, even for an avid sports fan like me.

C.: How are you doing in the pot at The Kennel?

d.: I was out in the first round. I picked my college team and they didn’t come through, so I was done.

C.: Yes, one mistake and you’re out. That’s why I need your opinion on the Final Four.

d.: Okay, let’s go through the teams. First, we have the University of Houston, who’s been a bridesmaid seven times, but never won it all. They’re playing Duke, and w all know that Duke is Duke, so there’s that.

In the other semifinal, we have two SEC teams in Auburn and Florida. Florida won back-to-back championships almost a decade ago, and Auburn has one title.

So, if you want to go with experience, the two oldest teams are Auburn and Houston. If you want to go for raw talent, then I’d pick Duke. IDK if a number one seed can be considered an underdog, but that looks like what Florida is. They seem to be the weakest team in the Final Four this year, but all four teams were number one seeds. So, I”ll go with Houston against Auburn in the final game on Monday with Houston pulling out a nail biter. They’ll use their superior defense to shut down Auburn’s big men. That should result in the first NCAA Men’s Basketball title for the H’town Cougars.

C.: You seem to know a lot about this subject, so how did you miss out on being in The Kennel’s Final Four contest?

d.: Well, I haven’t had much time to watch college basketball, so I was just picking the highest seed. That was fairly effective, but I did lose out in the first round. How, may I ask, did you get this far?

C.: Well, I looked at the statistics for both teams, analyzed their strengths and weaknesses, looked at each teams RPI, strength of schedule, and number of sure-fire NBA lottery picks when they leave school, and worked out an algorithm to determine my winners.

d.: What did that algorithm involve, Cal.E.?

C.: In the end, I just closed my eyes and pointed. The team’s name that was closest to my paw was my pick for the game.

d.: And you got all the way to the Final Four?!!!

C.: Yes, why?

d.:...That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.