C.: Hey, d.c., what are you doing?
d.: come on in. I'm waiting for this bottle of water to warm up to 71 degrees.
C.: Why?
d.: Because then it will be time to drink it. I put it in my refrigerator freezer until it was almost frozen. Then, I took it out to let it warm up to almost room temperature, or 72 degrees. That way, I can get the benefit of drinking cold water, which speeds up your metabolism, and also drinking room temperature water, which is absorbed by the body’s organs more quickly than cold water.
C.: Couldn’t you just, oh, I don’t know, put the bottle of water in the refrigerator for five minutes and get the same effects?
d.: ….Anyway, what can I do for you?
C.: Well, with this multi-level marketing thing, my superiors have almost promised me that I’ll become rich overnight. So, I’m trying to decide what to do with my money.
d.: How much did they promise you would make?
C.: Oh, they didn’t exactly promise, but intimated that I could make as much as 25 million dollars. What would you do with it?
d.: Well,.. I don’t know. I’ve never really though about it, much. I suppose that I’d give one-half of it away to foster kids who have aged out of the system so they could go to college, then I’d pay my taxes and tithe to the church. Then, I’d buy some lakeside property I saw for sale, then I’d pay off all my debts and give my sons enough to buy a house and finish their college educations. After that, I’d buy Eudora whatever she wanted, like a car. Not just any car, though, I’d buy us matching Limbourginis, matching electric Ferraris, matching Mazzeratis, and a truck with a fifth will to haul around my new travel trailer. I’d put the rest at interest and live off of the interest, my retirement plan (after I retired) and my social security that I’ve paid into for over forty years. That’s about it.
C.: And here I just thought that I’d buy some premium cat food with it. My third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T. was already taken has everything else. That's because he's a meow-llionaire.. i just don’t like his taste in food. I mean, who wants to eat prime beef and potatoes au gratin on a regular basis. Yuck!
D.: Wait, I just thought of some more things to buy with that money…
C.: I’d love to hear what they are, but we’re out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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