C.: I'm glad that my third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T was already taken bought me this ear but to connect to my cell phone/ Now, I can call my best human buddy, d.c. scot without having my cell phone in front of me.
d.c. asked me call him as soon as I get home because he wants to talk to me about something. (ring). He almost always answers his phone on the second ring (ring) because he says that people hang up sometimes when he answers on the first ring because they’re just fulfilling a quota of sales calls, and don’t really want to talk to him (ring). Well, he must be indisposed since that was the third ring,, so I’ll et my mind wander.
(Why do humans have runny noses and dry eyes when they’re having sinus trouble? If the human body was smart, it would just take all the extra fluid it produces and send it to the eyes, not the nose.
And, why do dogs have dry noses when they’re sick and humans’ noses run? It doesn’t make senses that too creatures from the same planet would react differently to the same allergen.
And, why do humans grade ABCDF? What happened to E? The best grade one can obtain is an A, and that makes sense because it’s the first letter in the alphabet, but shouldn’t that be reserved for a 100% grade? Then, a 99 would be a B, and so on. That would take the grades down to a 73, since there are 26 letters in the alphabet, but we started at 100. A 73 is still passing, so that must be the scale that colleges us for their athletes. Shouldn’t the rest of the student body be graded the same way, according to Title IX?
And….(ring)
d.: Hello, Cal.E.
C.: Oh, hi d.c. What did you want to talk to me about?
d.: I thought that you had an idea for the blog post yesterday, so what happened to it?
C.: Well….I was going to follow you doing patient care yesterday, since I had permission to do so, but the security officer commandeered my phone as I was leaving The Kennel.
d.: That doesn’t sound like something The Kennel would give you permission to do.
C.: Define “permission.”
d.: It means the person you talked to said, “Okay, you can do that.”
C.: Oh, right. So, if he said, ‘No way Jose,’ and my name’s not Jose, that doesn’t mean that I have permission?
d.: No, it doesn’t. Jose is a common name that rhymes with ‘No way.’
C.: So, it’s one of y’alls ‘figures of speech,’ like, if you don’t know a name of a person y’all call the John or Jane Doe? Aren’t Smith and Jones more common names than Doe? Why not call unknown people John Smith and Jane Jones?
d.: Because not many people have the last name, ‘Doe.’
C.: But a lot of people are named Jane and John, right?
D.: I suppose so….Anyway, you said that you were filming me doing patient care. I suppose you just used a cell phone, but how did you get it into The Kennel, since that’s strictly against the rules?
C.: Why is it against the rules?
d.: To keep people (and cats, I guess) from doing what you were trying to do. It’s a HIPPA violation to do what yo wanted to do. But how did you get your cell phone inside?
C.: Well…since they don’t check your lunch bag anymore, you might want to check it before you go into The Kennel.
d.: Okay, I’ll do that. How then, did you get it out without being noticed?
C.: You might want to check your lunch bag when you leave The Kennel also.
d.: You’re going to get me in trouble, Cal.E.
C.: No, they thought that I was the cat security sent to control the rodent population, so I ate a couple of mice to relieve suspicion. They were so happy that they forgot about my cell phone.
d.: You ate some mice, but what about the rats?
C.: Oh, I left them alone. Some were as big as I am!
d.: That’s why we wanted a cat to come in and clean them out. It’s an old building that’s flat, so it has a rodent problem.
C.: Yes, it is a problem. Most rodents make themselves scarce when they even smell a cat, but my kittens and I have worked at The Kennel for five years, and there’s still a rodent problem.
d.: Didn’t you teach your kittens to hunt, or is it a natural instinct?
C.: I would answer that question, but we’re out of time for today, so please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
コメント