Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: (I wonder what  d.c. is doing? I’m bored, since T’s out of town with his BFF Tom the Tabby cat fighting as a tag team. (Ring) They should win every match, because T is good, and Tom is dirty. They make a good match. (ring).

d.c. usually answers the phone of the first or second ring (ring) but he must be busy right now, so I’ll let my mind wonder while I wait for him to answer the phone.

If black and white are hues, and not colors, and each is an absolute, the how can there be a “lighter shade of black” or “off white”? Black is defined as the presence of all color (ring) and the absence of all light. Conversely, white is defined as the presence of all light and the presence of all color. These two hues are comprehensive opposites, so any variation from the absolutes results in a shade of gray, doesn’t it? (ring)

And why do we park on our driveways, when cars are supposed to be kept in the garage? (ring) I mean, when someone buys a house, is it because the salesperson tells the buyer that the garage is “extra storage space”? (ring). And why is English one of the few languages that doesn’t label everything either male or female? I suppose now that “they” has been accepted as a singular noun, everyone will need to speak English, though. (ring). And why is ice cream called that? It makes it sound as if someone put sour cream in a dish and froze it.  I mean, gag me with a dog bone! (ring). And, if what three little people want in this world doesn't amount to a hill of beans, does what three big people want matter?

d.: Hello?

C.: And.. Oh, hi, d.c., it's Cal.E. what took you so long to answer the phone?

d.: I had to see a man about a horse.

C.: Excuse me?

d.: I was previously indisposed.

C.: Come again?

d.: I was in the bathroom, okay?

C.: Without your phone? Is that legal?

d.: Well, I would look that up, but we’re out of time for today. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.