Cal.E.'s Korner

scot  household,  Greater Houston, Texas (Somewhere between Orange and El Paso); February 22  zero hundred hours (midnight)

d.: Now, let’s see. If I can just sel1 one thousand books a month, I can put all three of my sons through college to get their undergraduate degree, and Eudora and I can get our advanced degrees…Oh, man. That update said that college tuition just went up 166%. So…I’ll need to sell one hundred books per hour for the next…the rest of my life…

We interrupt this blog post to bring you this breaking news report. 

In the wacky world of WACKO Cat Fighting, there’s an ironic twist to an iconic rematch. After the bout for the light- heavyweight title of cat fighintg, former best friends Tom the Tabby and Tucker Tucker Two, a.ka. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken, the two toms agreed to a rematch; but only as a tag-team Texas cage match. T and his wife, Calculating Einstein Katt were set to fight Tom and the cat of his choice, and Tom has made his decision.

Tom chose T to be his partner, and T has agreed because he’s in a dispute with his wife. The two disagree on how much training is necessary to cat fight, and Cal.E. declares that T agreed to retire from cat fighting after his last bout with Triple T. So, to even the odds, Tom and T have agreed to cat fight Cal.E. and all fourteen of her kittens, but only one at a time.

The stakes are high, folks. If T and Tom win, Cal.E. will agree to go on the road with T as a tag-team cat fighting duo. If Cal.E. and her kittens win, then T must give up cat fighting forever. The six-time cat fighting champion is putting his career on the line for this cat fight, because Cal.E. is so tired of T’s globe-trotting to fulfill his obligations as a cat fighter that she’s hired renowned cat-fighting trainer d.c. scot to train her and her kittens.

In this match, there is no time limit. The participants are in a ring that is locked in a twenty-foot high cage, and if any of the cats climb the cage and get out, the match is over, and that cat’s team loses. Otherwise, the first cat to say “dog” and declare  him or herself as lowly as any stray dog loses, and that team must face the consequences. This seems like a cat fight for the ages, but what do I know? I’m only the foremost authority on cat fighting in this blog. When this cat fight takes place at an as yet undetermined time and place, I look for T and Tom to win the match in a long, hard-fought cat fight. If this happens, remember you heard it first here on channel 222.222.

This has been cat fighting expert Ken the Kat, with one cat’s (correct) opinion.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

d.: Oh no!

 That’s all the time we have for today, folks.Tune in tomorrow, folks, and see what d.c. is so upset about, and when and where the ultimate tag team cat fight will take place, right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.