C.: Pituii! Yuck!
d.: What’s the matter my fine feline friend?
C.: This plant-based diet that my husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known as T Because Triple T Was Already Taken; holder of championship belts in five different categories of heavy weight cat fighting (and soon to be a sixth) has me on to make weight so that we can be the heavy weight tag team champions of cat fighting tastes horrible! What are plants good for anyway?
d.: What are plants good for?!As a former horticulturist, I find your remarks insulting.
Plants are good for many things. Perhaps the most important thing that plants do is take the carbon dioxide that humans and animals exhale and turn it back into air that is breathable, which is remarkable unto itself.
C.: Do tell.
d.: Well, for air to be breathable, it should be be 21% oxygen, 78% nitrogen, and one percent inert ingredients…
C.: Why?
d.: Well, because iF the air is altered at all, say, the air is 22% oxygen, any spark can ignite it and start a massive fire.
C.: Yes, but I’m a cat from a different planet. I don’t need the same percentages of the air on Earth that y’all do…
d.: Well, plants do more than just convert carbon dioxide to breathable air.
C.: Like what?
d.: Plants can keep dirt from eroding when it rains or the wind blows alot. Tall tress can help to moderate the temperature of the planet and add aesthetic value to a property. They also help to prevent certain types of cancer.
C.: Which ones?
d.: Plants help your digestive track to digest food, too. That helps to reduce the possibility of someone getting colorectal cancer, and the shade plants provide helps prevent skin cancers caused by too much direct sun exposure, including Melanomas; which can be deadly. Plants are very important.
C.: So, if plants do all of this, then why should I eat them? Maybe that’s whats contributing to the global warning all the talking heads are always spouting on about. Maybe, if this planet would outlaw eating plants, then global warning will stop. Did you ever think about that?
d.: …That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Comments