C.: Well, d.c. finally sent me today’s script. At least, I think that’s what this is. Let’s see…no, I’m not doing any of this. Maybe I should call d.c. and see if he got the script mixed up with an email for another client. (ring)
d.: Hello, and welcome to a brave new world. In this new reality of planet earth, artificial intelligence is in control of all things. It will answer our phone calls and give accurate information to all our questions without us having to leave the comfort of our own home, or even our couch.
In this brave new world, thinking will not be mandatory, since all our decisions will be made for us. These decision-makers possess all the information known to man from the beginning of recorded history, so their thoughts and actions will be more accurate than anything a human being or animal can imagine. A.I. will write textbooks, as well as books for pleasure reading. A.I. will decide what is acceptable and not acceptable. A.I. will make your daily schedule and make sure that you stick to it, or suffer the consequences.
C.: Well, I suppose I should do what this email told me to do, then. Apparently, d.c. fed my information to A.I., and it came up with an exercise program for me. Now, let’s see fifty crunches….I guess I’ll be eating dry food tonight, then. Fifty seems like too little to eat, even for a small, seven-pound cat like me.
Water aerobics. That must be a new kind of water that will quench my thirst more efficiently. But, must I drink water for thirty minutes? That sounds excessive.
Lifting weights. I can get T to do that for me. He likes to lift weights. He’ll just add mine to the weight he’s lifting.
Well, I hope this next one is optional. Dry food doesn’t usually give me the runs.
I’ll get started on this as soon as I take a catnap, so I guess that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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