Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Well, I delivered the hot air from Earth’s politicians’ campaign speeches. Now, I’m headed back to Earth and my third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken

and the rest of my Earth friends. I don’t know that much about this new-fangled time machine that NASA sent me to replace my thirty-third cousin twice removed, ELAC’s time machine when I collided with Buddy Bones in space. I guess that to Buddy Bones, moving on to the next world meant traveling in  outer space. I wonder where he’s gone now?

Anyway, I must set this time machine to the proper time so that my friends and husband will never know that I was gone. T has forbidden me to travel in space while he’s training to defend his five heavy weight cat fighting championship belts, which is all the time.

 Let’s see, is this the correct button?

No, that pterodactyl almost flew into me , so I’ve gone back too far. Now, when I push this button, I see Elvis Presley performing, so I’m getting closer to the time I want to land, but not quite close enough.

Well, there’s tricky Dickie Nixon denying that he’s a crook and should not be impeached as president of the United States, so I must be in the early 1970s.

Now, I see the space shuttle blowing up, so I’m in the right century.

Hmm. Cher, or a very good female impersonator is doing her first farewell tour

so I’ll just go a little forward…no, that’s too far. A.I. has taken over the world, so I must be in about 2050.

I’ll make a note to have my cousin travel forward in space and correct that situation.. Yes, there’s T and the rest of the gang waiting for me at my welcome home party from the last time I traveled to space.

I’ll land here, and avoid seeing myself. I must not be seen with the other me, or….

d.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.