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Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Korner



C.: I’m hungry. There’s Starbrand coffee shop in the next 18.72589 lightyears, according to that billboard. I think I’ll sto other and see if they have any pastries.

Oh no! That sign says that the counter personnel only speak Russian and Dogma. My Dogma isn’t very good, and I don’t speak Russian. Maybe I can fake my way through, though.





Hello, and welcome to Starbrand, the coffee of the Astronauts, Cosmonauts, and of, of course, the stars. How may I be of service to you today ma’am, sir, or nonbinary individual?


C.:  (That sounds like English to me. I’ll order in English).

I’ll have a venti black coffee and some of those delicious pastries you sell here.

I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you are saying. I only speak English, but I don’t understand anything other than my welcome speech. Please order in Dogma Or Russian.


C.: (I’ll see how well I remember my Dogma). Woof, Woof Woof, Woof.


Very well ma’am, sir or nonbinary individual. Would yo like fries with that?


C.: Woof!


(Okay, let me see what I ordered. That figures. All I got was a bone and a black coffee. I’ll just suck on the bone…Oh, it looks like I’m in the window for listening to the Joe Groan Show on a radio channel in towns outside of Greer Houston.)


This is KEEP/KIND, Anahuac/ Hamaker. Keeping things kind as long as we are on the air, which isn’t very long.


JG.:: OH, Ooooh, Greetings. I’m Joe Groan. Welcome to the Joe Groan Show. with a special guest today. I have the…Backup quarterback for the replacement Houston Oilers?





Guest.: Yes, that’s me, Justin Case.




JG: You do know that the Oilers are now the Tennessee Titans and  now play in Knoxville,  Tennessee, don’t you?






JC: That’s what they want you to think. That way, if they lose a game, no one will know.

 

JG: What if they win?

 

JC: Hmm…I hadn’t thought of that.

 

JG.: Let’s talk about something else. I understand that you were going to go to divinity school, but were kicked out of college for cheating on an ethics exam. Is that true?

 

JC.: No comment.


JG.: how many concussions have you suffered in your football career, Justin?


JC: I'm sorry, I don't recall.

 

C.: (He’s not going to ge3t anything out of this guy, so I’ll call d.c. and see what happened to yesterday’s post.




(Ring)


d.: This is d.c. scot, how may I be of service to you ma’am, sir or nonbinary individual?

 

C.: Hi, it’s Cal.E. d.c., you know that I’m out of the galaxy. I thought that you were going to post Cal.E.’s Korner until I got back. What happened yesterday?

 

d.: the upgrade we made for our intergalactic telecommunication device is great. It's almost like your inside of my head. Cal.E., I was helping your youngest tom kitten with a jingle for his community service when my computer freaked out and started writing a love song to another computer. When I finally got back on line, I had a very important paper due in one of my classes in just five hours…




 

C.: And you hadn’t written it yet?

 

d.: Oh, no. I finished the paper two days early. However, when I was ready to send it in to the university, I noticed that the title page was 0.00001257984 millimeters off center. When I tried to correct it, it went that far that other way. You know how I feel about symmetry, so I spent four hours and fifty-nine minutes correcting my title page. When I got through, I was just too tired to write the blog.

 

C.: I see, so, then you went to sleep?

 

d.: Sleep, who needs sleep. Ralph needed mu help. He couldn't figger out how ta make his bass play music, for some reason.



I’m the king of Rock and Roll, baby.





 

C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E’s. Korner.


d.:  Thank ya, think ya, thank ya very much….


 

 

 

 

 

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