A lady that I know just came from Columbia
She smiled because I did not understand
Then she held out some marijuani ha-ha
She said it was the best in all the land
… And I said:
No no no no, I don't smoke it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No, thank you, please,
… It only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door
A woman that I know just came from Majorca Spain
She smiled because I did not understand
… Then she held out a 10 pound bag of Cocaine
She said it was the best in all the land
And I said:
No no no no, I don't sniff it no more
… I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No, thank you, please,
It only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door
… A man I know just came from Nashville Tennessee oh
He smiled because I did not understand
Then he held out some moonshine whiskey oh-ho
He said it was the best in all the land
… And I said:
No no no no, I don't drink it no more
I'm tired of wakin' up on the floor
No, thank you, please,
… It only makes me sneeze
And then it makes it hard to find the door
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: David P. Jr. Jackson / Hoyt Wayne Axton
The No No Song lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc
C..: Come on, kittens. Now that I've changed out of mywork clothes and put on my running shoes, we can begin our workout. I want to see some cat tails and toenails. Let’s go let’s go let’s go!
d.: Thanks for starting your and your kitten’s workout Cal.E. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here when y’all started, but I had to work late. Now that you and your kittens have done the warm up I gave y’all to do, I can take it from here.
C.: Okay, d.c., thanks. I’m anxious to begin my own workout. (Tucker is watching, do you think you can give me something hard-but not too hard- to do that will impress him?)
d.: Okay, Cal.E. I think that I can do that. Why don’t you do some Fartleks?
C.: he he
d.: You know what this is, it’s interval training. Start by running a lap half speed, then increase to three quarters speed on the next lap, then run full speed on the third lap. Finish with an easy lap. Then, you can rest for five minutes and do it again.
C.: Okay d.c.
five minutes later
C.: I’m ready for the next big thing to do, d.c.
d.: Okay just jog around the track at half speed for two laps. Let me know when you’re finished.
Jodi: Mom, this is haaard! I don’t want to workout anymore! Can we go home now, PLEASE?
Ralph: I have a leg cramp, and I think my front left foot has a stone bruise. It may need to be amputated.
C.: We just started this workout, for Pete’s sake. I want to get us all in shape for the Cat Rodeo.
d.: So, Tucker, are you inspired by your finance?
Tux: I am. In fact, I’m going to break this nasty habit and get back in shape, although my next cat fight is three months away. I'll start with some calisthenics.
d.: Wow! Ten pushups with one front paw. Maybe you can handle one of my workouts.
Tux.: Now, watch this!
d.: Ninety-nine, one hundred. I’m impressed that you can do one sit up, Tucker, much less one hundred. Why don’t you go and run eight laps on the track now. That will equal one mile.
Wow, look at him go! “Tucker, don’t run over anyone! They aren’t as big as you are! Look out, Jodi! He’s going to lap you! (Wow, look at him go! I guess a pro athlete is faster and stronger than his peers, no matter what he looks like.)
Tux.: Okay, d.c., I’m good and warmed up now. Give me something hard to do so that I can lose 13 pounds and go down to the regular heavyweight division of catfighting. Then, I will hold four belts. I’m the best cat fighter in the world! I’ll be the world champion of all of the heavyweight divisions of catfighting.
d.: I’ll have to work on that for you, Tucker. I wasn’t in the train of thought to train a professional athlete in “beast mode.” Give me a day or two, and I’ll have a good program for you. In the meantime, you can just do what you’re doing. I’m sure that will be a good workout.
Tux.: Nah, I’m not through. I’ll go home and workout on the speed bag and the heavy bag. Then, I’ll do a three mile cooldown run.
d.: (Maybe I should get Tucker to come out here and motivate these kittens on a daily basis. They're moving faster now that they’ve seen what he can do.) (tweet). That’s the wrap for today, kitties. Run the short distance to your house as a cool down and hit the showers. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Jodi: The showers?! Ewe! I hate water, especially running water.
Ralph: I’m tired! Can I get a piggyback ride back to the house? I don’t think I can run or even walk that far! It’s not fair! Sixto has longer legs by a millimeter than I do, and he's two minutes older than me. I shouldn’t be expected to do what he’s doing!
C.: Let’s go, let’s go. Tucker, ride herd and make sure none of my kittens bug out.
Tux.: No sweat, my pet. I’ll make sure that all of your precious cargo arrives safely at the appointed destination.
C.: (Tucker sure does talk differently around me than he does around Tom the Tabby. I wonder which one is the REAL Tucker Tucker Two?)
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