You may drive around your town
In a brand new shiny car
Your face in the wind and your haircut's in
And your friends think you're bizarre
You may find a cushy job and I hope
That you go far but if you really want to
Taste some cool success
You better learn to play guitar
Play guitar, play guitar, play guitar, oh yeah
Play guitar, play guitar, play guitar, oh yeah
You got your eyes on the cheerleader queen
And you're walkin' her home from school
You know that she's only seventeen
But you know thatyou a fool
You know you can't touch that stuff
Without money or a brand new car
Let me give you some good advice young man
You better learn to play guitar
Play guitar, play guitar, play guitar, oh yeah
Play guitar, play guitar, play guitar, oh yeah
All women around the world
Want a phony rock star who plays guitar
pump your iron and shine your shoes
And wear your hair just right
You go down out on cruisin' street
'Cause you want to score tonight
And you really want to show your scars
Forget all about that macho s***
And learn how to play guitar
Play guitar, play guitar, play guitar, oh yeah
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Play guitar, play guitar, play guitar, oh yeah
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: John Mellencamp / Dan Ross / Larry Crane
C.: d.c., I see that you learned to play guitar. I thought that you were strictly a keyboard man.
d.: I did. My son taught me how to play the guitar. But, I better question is what brings you to Earth, Cal.E., I the middle of an important campaign for Ruler of the Planet of the Talking Cats?
T.: I can answer that. I sent her a copy of her manuscript for her autobiography after you edited it. I knew that she’d come home to talk to you then.
d.: Why is that?
C.: Because, d.c., you didn’t edit my story, you rewrote it.
d.: Not true. See, a lot of what you wrote is still here.
C.: Yes, if, and, an, but, the. d.c., everyone uses articles. These two and three letter words are what tie a story together.
d.: I’ll have you know that I got an offer for a large amount of money after I edited your book. I sent it to a publisher, and they loved it. They offered us $290,187.87 to publish it.
C.: Well,,,I’d be willing to split the money with you, since you did do a lot of the work. Just cut me a check….
d.: Oh, no. I turned that down.
C.: Why?!
d.: Well,,,You know how I feel about odd numbers, and this was just so close to an even, round number, so…
C.: So, you refused this generous offer from a legitimate publisher who was willing to go out on a limb and publish and unknown author? d.c., I would have given you thirteen cents to make it an even number.
d.: But the number was just so close to an even three hundred thousand that I thought that we could get that. We could have one-hundred fifty thousand dollars for you, and the same amount for me…
C.: And I could have paid off one-half of my credit card debt….
T.: What?!
C.: Er…That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Disclaimer:
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d.: I don't really resemble Prince, Elvis Presley, Bear Bryant, Glenn Cunningham, Buddy Bones or Colonel Tom Parker. I'm very much still alive.
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